Baby Blue
by goingthroughhellkeepgoing
Summary: This story was inspired by "In my veins." written by gimmexsomexjacksonxwalsh, go check out that story as well. Please R&R, each one is so much appreciated! EXTRA/DELETED Chapters now available mow chpts 15 and 16! shown as -Hidden scene!
1. Chapter 1

Jackson and Aaron were having dinner in the Woolpack with Paddy and Rhona, who was now showing a baby bump. All of them, except Aaron, were engrossed in discussion about the new baby as they tucked into the hot meals.

"We've decided to call the baby James." Rhona told an interested Jackson.

"Aw, that's a lovely name." Jackson smiled. "Never get's old, that one."

"That's why we picked it." Rhona smiled back before shovelling more food into her mouth. "And of course, you two will be Uncle Jackson and Uncle Aaron to the little fella."

"As an Uncle to him, I plan to spoil him rotten." Jackson told Rhona as she rubbed her bump.

Aaron was leaning back in his seat listening to them continue to talk about the baby Rhona was expecting soon. Jackson loved kids and sometimes Aaron wondered if he ever thought about having any. Of course Aaron had never considered kids, he was far too young and irresponsible, and he could only just manage to look after himself. The one thing in his life he cared about that he had looked after he'd ended up killing him, Clyde. He was not father material. Hearing Jackson run on to Rhona about kids, Aaron knew Jackson would be great dad one day. He was caring, selfless and understanding.

"Right, should I get us another round in?" Paddy asked jumping to his feet.

"Yeah sure, why not? None of us have work tomorrow." Jackson agreed.

"Same again?" Paddy checked, receiving a nod from everyone before ordering the drinks from Bob.

"Cheer up." Jackson teased Aaron. "You've barely said anything all evening."

"Not a big baby fan." Aaron told him sarcastically.

"Hmm. I don't know." Jackson joked. "I think you are."

"What's there to like? Screaming? Crying? Dirty nappys? A life time's commitment." Aaron replied.

"They're not all about that." Rhona chipped in.

"Oh yes they are." Aaron said leaving no room for argument.

Jackson and Aaron stayed in the pub longer than Rhona and Paddy, following them home a couple of hours later and several more pints of beer later. At the bottom of the stairs, Jackson placed his hands on Aaron's hips and pushed him back against the front door with a light thud. They were trying to be as quiet as they could be, when they realised they had come home to a silent and dark house. Jackson's tongue traced Aaron's lips tasting the alcohol that still lingered, before their lips touched once more and they kissed passionately. Aaron pulled away at the thought of a woken Paddy descending the stairs and finding them both locked against each other, or even worse Rhona.

"Upstairs." Aaron managed to say before Jackson covered his mouth once more, hungrily.

They managed to stumble up the stairs without waking anybody. Aaron sat on the edge of the bed as Jackson stood over him, straddling his legs, clasping his hands either side of Aaron's face and kissed him again, more hungrily this time as Aaron slipped his hands slowly up Jackson's grey t-shirt. Only pulling away to allow each other to catch their breaths while Aaron pulled Jackson's top off and flung it behind them. One soft nudge by Jackson, Aaron was lying on his back with Jackson leaning over him, a hand either side of Aaron's head to prevent him from putting all his weight on him. Jackson's silver necklace ticked Aaron's neck as it dangled above him from his lover's neck. Jackson's face was an inch from Aaron's, as they stared in to one and other's eyes, mischievous grins tugging at their mouths.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron woke with a sickening feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. He rolled over onto his front and flung out an arm, searching the sheets for Jackson. He wasn't there. He groaned and rolled back on to his back, listening to the noises downstairs he could hear Jackson and Paddy rattling about in the kitchen. Slowly he climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxers and tracksuit bottoms, not managing to put on a t-shirt before the sickening feeling he'd felt when he had woken hit a peak. He rushed to the bathroom, only just making it before last night's meal at the Woolpack made reappearance as he heaved.

A few minutes later Jackson knocked on the bathroom door.

"Aaron? You alright?" He asked, uncertain about whom it was. Rhona was past the morning sickness stage by now, but he couldn't be too careful.

He winced when he herd whoever it was heave before answering. "Hungover." Aaron's voice called out.

Jackson pushed open the bathroom door to find Aaron clutching the side of the toilet bowl, his head hovering over it as he continued to heave.

"Lightweight." Jackson teased as he rubbed Aaron's back. He hated vomit. He couldn't stand anybody being sick around him, but he had to comfort his boyfriend. Seeing Aaron so vulnerable made his heart ache. Unbelievably he managed not to be sick himself. "I'll get you a glass of water." Jackson said to him before disappearing downstairs to fetch a glass.

A few seconds later Jackson reappeared with a clean glass. He half filled it with cold water from the sink taps and handed it to Aaron. "Small sips." He told him, as Aaron took tentative sips looking a lot paler than usual.

"Thanks." Aaron said once he had finished, handing the glass of water back to Jackson.

"Bed?" Jackson more ordered than asked.

"Yeah."

For three weeks Aaron continued to be sick everyday, causing both Paddy and Jackson to become concerned for the younger man. After an hour or so of heaving up everything he had eaten previously he was fine for the rest of the day, which baffled them. Aaron was becoming quite irritated by it and just wanted it to go away.

"Aaron, don't you think we should take you to see a doctor?" Paddy asked wearily from the bathroom doorway as Aaron knelt on the cold tiles hovering by the toilet.

Aaron shook his head, not trusting himself to open his mouth.

"I think you should see a doctor." Jackson pushed. "This isn't normal; you're losing to much weight."

"He's right." Paddy said backing Jackson up.

"I'm gonna book you appointment now. Whether you like it or not Aaron." Jackson said turning on his heel.

"I'll do that. Stay here with him." Paddy said, retreating back downstairs.

Aaron just glared at Jackson, as they both listened to Paddy downstairs arranging for a doctor to call over. "You'll thank me later on." Jackson laughed.

Aaron was laying bed in when the doctor eventually called round that day. She was a nice woman, tall and dark haired with a kind smile. Paddy had shown her upstairs to his bedroom and she'd smiled as she entered. Jackson returned the smile, leaving Aaron scowling beside him as he explained everything to the doctor. After listening to Jackson explain everything she began to run a few simple tests.

"I've been a doctor for over thirty year's now." She explained to them both, Paddy previously gone downstairs to make dinner. "But never have I been baffled by something like this. I've read about something similar to this though."

"What do you think is wrong?" Jackson asked growing concerned by the doctor's riddles.

"You may think I'm mad but I think Aaron here may be pregnant." She answered him seriously.

Aaron burst into laughter upon hearing this. "You're joking."

The doctor frowned. "No, I'm not. I'm quite baffled myself as to how. But you are."

Jackson swallowed before asking. "What makes you think this? How is it possible?"

"He's been suffering from morning sickness. There's nothing else causing these symptoms." She explained. "It is possible, happened before a few years back. Aaron must have been born with a womb also. Of course when it comes to birth, he'll have to have a c-section."

"Just that simple?" Aaron snapped, annoyed that the stupid doctor had considered that. "You're mad."

"No, I'm not mad." She smiled at him, pulling out a pot from her medical bag. "Now could you give me a urine sample in this please." She handed Aaron the pot as he glared at her.

Aaron grudgingly crawled out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, leaving Jackson and the doctor alone, mumbling under his breath.

"What are the possibilities if he is?" Jackson asked worriedly, fiddling a lose thread of cotton on his shirt. He couldn't bare to think of the outcome if he was.

"Like any ordinary pregnancy you both have many options. Termination and adoption are available if you both don't want the child." The doctor answered. "I can't promise a problem free pregnancy, there never is one, but it's worth it."

Aaron re-entered the room then, thumping down on to the bed and handing the doctor the pot back. "Merry Christmas." He said sarcastically, no hint of humour.

"Thank you. Would you like it if I called you with the results?" She asked, getting to her feet.

"Thank you that would be great." Jackson answered gratefully.

"Results will be back within a couple of days. Speak to you then, bye." She said, disappearing from their bedroom.

"Is she qualified?" Aaron spat, no sooner had the doctor left.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Yes she is. What she's saying could be true, so prepare yourself." Jackson said kissing Aaron on the forehead before standing up. "Paddy's making dinner should be dishing up by now. Come on."

Taking Jackson's outstretched hand Aaron allowed himself to be pulled out of bed and led downstairs to the kitchen, to the smell of cooking. Paddy was just putting the plates of roast dinner onto the kitchen table as Jackson and Aaron entered.

"How did things go?" Paddy asked.

"Alright," was only what Aaron said while shooting Jackson a warning glare.

"The doctor said she will call us back in a few days, with a bit more information." Jackson told Paddy careful not to overstep the mark.

"Serious is it?" Paddy asked more concerned.

"Nothing we can't handle." Jackson said earning himself a seething glare from Aaron. "Anyway, this looks lovely!" Licking his lips Jackson dug into the meal Paddy had prepared.


	3. Chapter 3

A couple of days later Jackson and Aaron both sat upstairs in the bedroom, as they listened to Jackson's mobile ring. "Well answer it then!" Aaron snapped, annoyed to still be hearing the bleeping ringtone as they both seemed to be just staring at it.

Jackson rolled his eyes and answered his mobile. It was the doctor, just as he had suspected, to let them know about the results. "Good afternoon." Jackson greeted back.

"I've got the results you've both been waiting for." The doctor said leaving Jackson to wait impatiently before continuing.

Aaron watched as Jackson's eyes widen. What was it? Whatever the doctor had told him had left him in complete shock. "What is it?" Aaron asked almost a whisper, ignored. His mouth dry, stomach aching as he wished against anything the doctor hadn't told him they were expecting a baby.

"Ermm. . . right yeah. We'll talk about it. . . . Bye." Jackson said before ending the call. He stared at Aaron, wondering how he was going to tell him.

"spit it out!" Aaron snapped annoyance niggling at him.

"Aaron. . . You're pregnant." Jackson told him, waiting for Aaron to scream and shout, go mad or something. Instead Aaron just stared at him.

"What?" Aaron said after several minutes silence of just staring at one and other.

"You're pregna-" Jackson began.

"I heard! Just. . . it's just crazy!" Aaron shouted jumping up. "This _isn't_ right. . ."

"What do you mean?" Jackson asked, wondering what Aaron meant. Deep inside him was ecstatic about the news. He was going to have a baby, with the man he loved. But another part of him worried about Aaron, he didn't know if he could handle it. No doubt in his mind could make him think otherwise that Aaron was going to be a great dad. It was just the other stuff that surrounded the whole situation that would suffocate Aaron.

"Jackson, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a bloke?" Aaron answered him dripping with sarcasm. "And blokes can't have babies."

"Yes Aaron, believe me I've noticed." Jackson laughed widening his eyes as he admired Aaron, hoping to lighten the situation.

Aaron glared at him.

"The doctor explained this all to us the other day." Jackson added.

"Jackson!" Aaron snapped, frustrated that Jackson didn't seem to get where he was coming from. "I'm a bloke, I'm eighteen! People are gonna think I'm a freak!"

"Aaron-." Jackson began, seeing the hurt and anger growing in Aaron's eyes.

"No! Look at me! I'm a freak." Aaron cut over him. "I'm too messed up to even have a kid!"

"No you're not." Jackson said firmly. "You're not a freak. You would make a _great_ dad!" Jackson leaned forward on the bed and pulled Aaron in to a hug, when the tears began to fall down Aaron's face.

"What do I tell Paddy?" Aaron sniffed.

"Leave that to me. We can deal with this together." Jackson whispered comfortingly to his lover, from now on only wanting to protect Aaron and the baby they were now having.

"Paddy, could I have a word?" Jackson asked the vet, as Aaron was busy at the garage.

"Yeah of course, what's wrong? It's not Aaron is it?" Paddy began to ramble.

"Do you mind?" Jackson asked, gesturing to the door to the lounge, out of Pearl's earshot.

"Yeah." Paddy exclaimed following Jackson through. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

"I'm not kidding when I tell you what's happening with Aaron and me at the moment, okay?" Jackson said, setting the seriousness of the conversation. When Paddy nodded to show he understood he continued. "This is difficult. . . the thing is, Rhona's not going to be the only one expecting."

Paddy remained silent for a while, waiting for Jackson to explain more. "What do you mean?"

"Aaron's pregnant." Jackson finally said, feeling a weight he hadn't realised he'd been carrying around on his shoulder's being lifted.

"Are you sure, you do realise-." Paddy began before Jackson cut him off. "Yes Paddy, we know the story of the birds and the bees. It's possible and it's happening."

"Wow." Paddy said simply, his eyes widening for emphasis.

"I know. Aaron suggested it would be easier coming from me, said he would only go off on one if you didn't get it." Jackson explained the mechanics absence.

"No, I understand." Paddy said. "I'm here if any of you want to talk though. You've both got a difficult time ahead of you."

"We know. Just hope everyone is as accepting as you are." Jackson sighed.

"Have you told you're mothers yet?" Paddy asked.

"That's were we hoped you could help us out. I'm happy telling my mum, nothing surprises her anymore." Jackson laughed. "I don't think Chas will take it well and I doubt Aaron will tell her. You know how they tend to keep things from each other."

"Mmm. . .Don't I know."

A month later and Aaron was still trying to get his head round the idea of being pregnant. He was too young. He'd only just started to get his life back on track and now everything was going off the rails again. A hand full of people knew about the pregnancy, Paddy, Hazel, Chas, Adam and Rhona, he just hoped it would stay that way. He had yet to start showing. Jackson and Rhona were now more engrossed in taking about babies more than ever, much to Aaron's annoyance. Chas had taken quite a shock when Paddy had told her she was going to be a grandma. At first she thought it was one big joke, but now she was buying little things every now and again for the new baby, just like Hazel was.

Aaron sat on the sofa in the lounge watching T.V as Rhona waddled in carrying two cups of tea. She plonked herself down next to him and handed him one of the cups of tea she had made.

"Drink up." She smiled to him.

"Thanks." He mumbled taking the cup.

"Still trying to get your head round the idea of being a dad?" She asked, watching him over the top of her cup.

He nodded. "It's just . . . "

"Mad? Crazy?" She laughed. "I know how you're feeling- kind of." Aaron raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think in a million years I would be a mum. Now look at me! I'm ready to pop!"

"Yeah, but you're different. You're meant to have kids." Aaron sighed.

"You're meant to have kids." Rhona told him. "I didn't think I could cope with having a baby, hell I still don't think I can. But I have Paddy and Marlon there for me. Like you have Jackson, your mum, Paddy, me and Hazel there for you right now. You're whole family are there for you, they just don't know it."

"Still doesn't make me feel like less of a freak show." Aaron mumbled.

"I know. But you should be happy. You're bringing a new life to the world, a life that you will cherish and love." Rhona told him. "-ooh" She slipped out as she felt a twinge.

"What is it?" Aaron panicked as pain flickered across her face.

"Nothing, just a small twinge I think." She told him placing a hand on her stomach. "Be glad when the little fella gets out though. - Ooh!"

"Rhona!" Aaron began rising to his feet.

"Get Paddy." Rhona order him calmly.

Quickly Aaron flew into the surgery and found Paddy. "Paddy, It's Rhona!" was all Aaron had to say before they both rushed back to Rhona.

"Get her overnight bag. It's in the kitchen under the coat pegs." Paddy told Aaron, helping Rhona up. "Meet us outside by the car."

"Sure."

Aaron found a large black duffel bag right where Paddy said it would be. Rhona had packed it a month ago insisting that she was going to be prepared for when the baby came. They still had yet to buy nappies and bottles.

Paddy had gotten Rhona into the car and was then walking round to the driver's side when Aaron sprinted outside with the bag. "She's going to be alright?" Aaron asked.

Paddy giggled. "She's having a baby. Not major brain surgery."

"Yeah, I know." Aaron said sheepishly at his stupidity.

"Don't worry, everything will be alright-." Paddy assured Aaron, noticing the teens discomfort.

"-Paddy!" Rhona shouted from the car.

"Coming!" Paddy shouted back, thanking Aaron once again for the bag and running back over to his car, to rush his pregnant girlfriend to the hospital.

Aaron watched as Paddy drove away speedily ignoring the speed limit on the road that lead out of the village, and went back inside. He nervously scrunched up his hands, tugging his long sleeves over his fists and paced nervously around the house. That would be him in a few months time, wouldn't it? Thoughts of the pregnancy raced through his mind. He hadn't really thought about the pregnancy itself, up until now, just the vicious gossip that would be said behind his back. How people would think of him had he had thought out more then what he would experience during the pregnancy. Rhona suddenly going into labour, her face pulled in pain and shouting at Paddy to get a move on, had triggered the thoughts for Aaron. Would he suffer the same?


	4. Chapter 4

When Jackson arrived home that evening from work he found Aaron sitting in the kitchen. It wasn't quite dark outside but there was barely any light in the kitchen as he stumbled his way inside. Aaron sat at the kitchen his elbows resting on the wooden surface as he nervously nibbled at the hem of his sleeves, staring straight ahead in a daze.

"What's wrong?" Jackson asked, jumping straight into it. Something was up, he could tell. Nobody would sit alone in a dark kitchen, even Aaron. Where were Paddy and Rhona? It was unusual for them not be at home.

"W-what?" Aaron said not registering anything Jackson said.

"Where's Paddy?" Jackson asked, flicking on the lights and switching the kettle on, in need of a good cup of tea after a hard days work.

"Hospital. Rhona's in labour." Aaron said, almost above a whisper.

"That's great!" Jackson exclaimed, happy about the news but still concerned that Aaron was so quiet. "How come you didn't text me? Let me know."

Aaron sighed and rested his forearms onto the table. "Didn't think."

"Should have guessed." Jackson laughed, taking a seat next to Aaron. "What's up?" He asked growing serious.

"Nothing. . . It's just . . . " Aaron struggled to find the words to explain.

"You're worried?" Jackson read.

"Well. . .yeah." Aaron admitted, looking at Jackson.

"Don't be." Jackson said resting his hand on one of Aaron's.

"How can I not be? How can you stay so calm about it all?" Aaron asked. Jackson had taken the past few months in stride, nothing had shocked or surprised him for to long. He often wondered how Jackson could keep calm with everything going on, while he flew off the handle at the slightest thing.

"Easy. Just think. . . You're bringing a whole new life into the world that's just ours, all ours." He smiled.

"Soppy git." Aaron breathed, as the kettle clicked to signal it was boiled.

Jackson just rolled his eyes as he got up to make the tea, as he was pouring milk into a cup he turned to Aaron and asked "Paddy and Rhona never got round to getting nappies did they? Or Bottles?"

"No." Aaron answered. "They're getting them tomorrow."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Aaron, with a new baby they won't have time to go to the shops." He told him, placing to hot mugs of tea on the table. "After we've drunk these, we'll go to the shops before going over to the hospital." Aaron opened his mouth to protest but before he had the chance Jackson spoke over him. "Before you even think about arguing, tough luck, you're coming!"

Aaron tried to sulk as he drank his tea but Jackson made that impossible for him, making him crack a smile after a few minutes.

"Come on." Jackson said grabbing his Van keys off the side and dumping his mug in the sink. "Let's get going."

"What about tea?" Aaron asked wondering when he could eat, he was starving.

"We'll get something on the way. Typical you, always thinking about you're stomach!" Jackson teased.

"Eating for two now." Aaron winked, the first comical comment he had made about the pregnancy.

Jackson smiled. "Let's just hope they're nothing like you when they come to food, otherwise we'll be eaten out of house 'n' home."

"Haha. Funny." Aaron drawled as he passed Jackson on the way to the Van.

They stopped off in Hotton to buy nappies and baby bottles, Jackson soon getting distracted as he caught glimpse of cots and baby clothes. Aaron kept on task and went in search along the nappy aisle to find what they were looking for but easily became confused when there were so many different brands and types and sizes to choose from. A young woman, down the same aisle carrying a baby girl on her hips, noticed Aaron's distress as he muddled over the many brands.

"New dad? I take it you've been sent out on the nappy run." She asked smiling at him, continuing before he even had the chance to correct. "It's confusing isn't it? So many to choose from. Let me help you, how old is your baby?"

To avoid all questions and confusion, explaining that he was in fact out buying nappies for his lodger/mum's ex/should be dad's girlfriend's baby who she was having with her boyfriend's best friend, he went along with her thinking it was his baby he was buying for. "New born."

"Ah right, congrats." She said kindly. "You'll want these ones then." She pulled a yellow package off one of the shelves and held it out to Aaron.

"Thanks." Aaron said as he took them from her, just as Jackson came rushing down the aisle.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Jackson boomed as he got closer.

"Really? I've been getting what we originally came here for." Aaron said to him smugly, the kind woman who had helped him now gone back to her own shopping.

"I got distracted, shoot me." Jackson teased before sighing. "This will be us in a few months."

"Shut up!" Aaron hissed, looking around them for anybody within earshot.

"What? It's gonna be quite obvious soon." Jackson laughed at his boyfriend's discomfort, placing a palm on Aaron's stomach.

"No it's not." Aaron snapped swatting Jackson's hand away, hoping he could just pass the bump off as fat and tell everybody they adopted.

"And how so?" Jackson asked curious as to how Aaron would keep this one secret.

"Become fat." Aaron answered simply as he placed the bottles and nappies on the counter.

Jackson raised an eyebrow and laughed. "You're not getting fat!"

"Why? Won't you love me if I was?" Aaron joked."You're not just after my fine physic, are you?"

"I'd leave you." Jackson said keeping a serious face that didn't quite reach his eyes, as he pulled out his wallet to pay.

At the hospital Paddy had been going frantic. He'd been trying to get through to Aaron at Smithy Cottage but nobody had answered. He would have called them both on their mobiles but he had left his in the surgery and didn't know their number's off by heart. He was calling to let them know that Rhona had finally given birth to a beautiful baby boy.

"Ah that's fantastic! Congratulations." Jackson exclaimed hugging Paddy with one arm and patting him on the back, once Paddy had told him the news outside Rhona's room.

"Yeah, congratulations Paddster." Aaron grinned at the sight of Paddy nearly bursting with joy.

"We got you a few nappies and Baby bottles, didn't think you would have time tomorrow." Jackson told him, showing him the goods Aaron was carrying. "And of course!" Jackson lifted up what he was holding, a baby blue teddy bear and a helium balloon with "It's A Boy!" printed on both sides.

"Ah thanks guys. Do you wanna come in and see him? I don't think Rhona would mind." Paddy explained, already pushing the door open. "Marlon's on his way, he's been left on his own at the Woolpack."

"Go on then, if she won't mind." Jackson said, following Paddy, Aaron hanging back.

Rhona sat up in the hospital bed, propped up by the many hospital pillows, looking utterly exhausted in her Cherry red pyjamas. Her little bundle of joy sleeping soundly in the cot beside her bed, wrapped up in a baby blue Moses blanket. Paddy kissed her lightly on the forehead and perched himself on the edge of the bed beside her, leaving two vinyl covered hospital chairs for Jackson and Aaron.

"So how is he?" Jackson asked peering over the cot at the little baby. "Decided on a name yet?"

"Still James." Rhona yawned. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Do I?" Jackson exclaimed, already reaching for James to pick him and cradle him. "N'awh he's adorable."

Jackson took his seat next to Aaron again and cooed over little James, as Aaron took no notice what so ever. Noticing Aaron wouldn't even be interested if James suddenly jumped up and started singing a hit 80's song, Jackson began to hand James over to him.

"Here you are." He said as Aaron squirmed.

"What you doing?" Aaron said alarmed to find Jackson thrusting a newborn in his face.

"Handing James over to you."

"No your not."

"Why not?" Jackson asked now watching as Aaron he struggled to become comfortable holding such a fragile thing.

"I'll drop him!" Aaron cried out.

Paddy, Jackson and Rhona laughed. "Don't be silly Aaron, you won't. If I can manage not dropping him, you can." Rhona told him sleepily. James was now falling back to sleep in Aaron's arms quite content as Aaron sat rigid.

"Relax." Jackson whispered into Aaron's ear. "You're a natural." He placed a kiss on his shoulder and continued to watch the beautiful sight before him. Eventually Aaron relaxed. He hadn't really held a baby before now. When his step-mum had had her baby, she never let him hold him. She was frightened he would drop her baby either that or she didn't want Aaron near her perfect family. Aaron didn't care. He couldn't see the massive fascination with babies that was until now.

A flash from Paddy's phone snatched his attention away from James. "What ya doing?" Aaron almost yelped.

"Taking a picture and keeping record of the first time James's Uncle Aaron held him." Paddy said now looking at the picture on his phone.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Show anyone you're dead." Aaron growled.

"Not in front of the baby!" Jackson teased.

"Here." Aaron said, handing James to Paddy. "I'm starving." Aaron stated to Jackson as he began to walk out. "Buy me some food."

"As you wish!" Jackson mocked, following him. "Must have been his impeccable manners I fell for." Jackson muttered to Rhona and Paddy behind him, earning himself a laugh. "Be back in a bit."

"Not the cafe food!" Aaron moaned as Jackson took a turn down one of the corridors leading to the hospital cafe.

"Er, why?" Jackson asked stopping in his tracks.

Aaron sighed. "It's disgusting. Let's get something from the gift shop."

"I didn't think you tasted half the stuff you put in your mouth." Jackson chirped as he walked along beside Aaron who shot him a warning glare. "And how come I'm buying?"

"You're the one whose kid I'm feeding." Aaron answered quietly.

"You're not gonna keep using that against me!"


	5. Chapter 5

Jackson wasn't around when the baby first decided it would kick. He was at work at Cain's garage, who knew nothing about the pregnancy. Hunched over an old Corsa, fiddling with a fan belt, Aaron got the sensation of butterflies fluttering around in his stomach, that was the only way he could describe the feeling.

"Alright Aaron?" Ryan asked, who had been inside the garage chatting along to Debbie as they drunk tea.

"Yeah." Aaron answered absent mindedly.

"You sure? You look like you've seen a ghost." Debbie added noticing his cousin look a little strange.

"Nah, I'm alright. Can I just nip out for a bit?" Aaron asked which didn't help his protests that he was fine. He was halfway up the village before Debbie could refuse, heading towards Smithy Cottage pulling out his phone and texting Jackson.

**Sumthing jst happened – A xx **

When Jackson had received the short text, alarm bells had gone off in his head. What had happened? Surely nothing serious had happened to Aaron, as he had been able to send a text. But that still didn't stop Jackson from worrying as he made up an excuse to leave work early and rush home to Aaron.

Jackson found Aaron upstairs in their bedroom. He was sat on the bed and watching T.V, completely relaxed. Jackson sighed half in relief, half annoyed. Placing himself between Aaron and the T.V screen on the bed he waited for Aaron to explain what the text was about.

"I was at work and I had a strange feeling." Aaron told him.

"And. . ." Jackson prompted. "The baby's okay?" Jackson added quickly.

"Yeah! –I think. It felt like butterflies." Aaron admitted.

A huge grin spread across Jackson's face. "Aaron! The baby kicked!"

Jackson leaned forward and placed a hand on Aaron's stomach, waiting for the sensation of their baby kicking. Nothing.

"It's not kicking now." Aaron mumbled staring down at his stomach.

"Let me know when he or she does." Jackson told him keeping his hand there.

"I will." Aaron promised. "I've gotta get back to work. Debbie's gonna kill me! She's already getting suspicious." Aaron jumped up from the bed and made his way to the stairs.

"When you gonna let her know and the rest of you're family." Jackson asked.

"Never?" Aaron moaned. "I'll never hear the end of it from Cain or Debbie."

"They'll find out you know."

"Most probably from mum." Aaron finished.

"You have no faith in her!" Jackson laughed.

"I do. Just not to keep her mouth shut. You met my mother?" Aaron said turning round to face Jackson on the stairs and cocking one eyebrow.

"Go on you." Jackson said kissing Aaron quickly on the lips. "Don't forget you've got you're 20 week scan tomorrow."

"How could I?" Aaron shouted behind him as he left the house. He had his mum, Jackson's mum and Jackson reminding him all the time, making sure he was eating probably and generally fussing over him all the time.

Aaron had been just as nervous as the first time, but more eager to see the scan picture. His stomach now more swollen, but he was still able to keep the bump hidden if he wore big enough hooded sweatshirts. It was winter so it was possible to fit in with loads of layers on. They had planned on telling the rest of the Dingles about their news once they had gotten the second scan out of the way. Aaron was hoping it would last forever.

"We're having a boy." Jackson told Hazel, who instantly pulled both Jackson and Aaron into a hug.

"I said to myself 'Hazel, I just know it's a boy.' That's why I brought those baby grows the other day." Hazel admitted breaking the embrace.

"What baby grows?" Aaron asked.

"My mother and your mum have been secretly buying things. They've got quite a stash now." Jackson informed him. "We don't need to worry about most things. They've got it covered."

"Oh." Aaron said a little defeated. Secretly he was looking forward to buying things for their baby.

"Don't worry." Hazel said. "There's still quite a lot for you two to get yourselves. Have you told your mother yet?"

"Not yet. We were just heading over to her now." Aaron said hinting that they had to go. His heart was thundering away and his mouth dry with the anticipation of telling his whole family now.

"Aaron's gonna tell the rest of his family today." Jackson explained. "He's feeling a bit on edge."

"I'm sure they'll take it just fine." Hazel assured him, patting him on the arm. "Now go on. Don't keep them waiting."

"I'm in no rush." Aaron mumbled to himself as Hazel ushered them out the door.

"Don't be too long though. I'm cooking everyone tea tonight." Hazel warned them. "First chance for us all to sit down together since Freddie was born."

In the end Jackson ended up pushing Aaron through the door to the Dingle household. He was taking his time, taking his time in telling his family. Jackson could understand why Aaron was so nervous. But his family had all been there for him when he admitted he was gay, surely they would be there for him when he told them he was expecting Jackson's child. It was uncommon, he admitted, but he had no doubt anybody would kick off about it.

The whole dingle clan were sitting downstairs when they arrived. Lisa wearing her apron as she sat on the arm of one of the chairs, Zack in his usual seat, while Cain, Charity, Debbie, Sam, Bell and Marlon took the other seats. Chas linked her arm with Aaron, to remind him she was there for him, as soon as he walked through the door.

Aaron took two deep shaky breaths, preparing himself.

"I can tell them if you want?" Chas asked him.

"No. I've got to." Aaron admitted sheepishly. "If I can't tell them, then how am I gonna cope with the village?"

"If you're sure. . ." Chas said. Aaron nodded and cleared his throat.

"So what is it you wanted to tell us lad?" Zack boomed from his seat. "You two aren't getting one of those civil weddings are you?"

"It's great news if you are." Lisa chirped searching for a silver band on either of their hands.

"N-no." Aaron stumbled. "The thing is. . . . . . . . . The thing is." Aaron rolled his eyes skywards before continuing. How could he explain? Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he continued to think of way he could explain their current situation, complicated situation. He opened his mouth, intending to continue but was interrupted by Jackson, who had decided he would take control.

"I know what we about to tell you, will seem strange, odd, unnatural. . . But it's happening. So we would both really appreciate it if you just took in your stride, like everyday news." Jackson started confidently, the complete opposite to Aarons stumbling performance. "We're expecting a baby."

"Are you adopting?" Lisa chirped again, quite excited by the prospect of another member of the Dingle clan.

"I can't imagine Aaron with a child." Debbie commented.

"-Oh and you're perfect parent material aren't you?" Aaron snapped at her.

"Don't listen to her Aaron. I think you'd do okay." Charity reasoned from Cain's lap. "Cain managed to do an okay job."

Cain pulled a face and was about to protest when Jackson made himself herd.

"No Lisa. We're not adopting." Jackson told them, receiving confused looks from everyone. "Aaron's pregnant."

For a while the room was silent. Everyone was processing what Jackson had told them. Aaron's stomach was in knots, his mouth dry and subconsciously he was pulling his sleeves over his hands again, fiddling with the edge of the sleeves. Jackson looped his arm round his waist, to reassure him they were together on this one. Cain was the first to speak up.

"You guys are winding us up!" Cain said, eying Aaron.

"No, they're not." Chas corrected him quietly from her place beside Aaron who seemed to have forgotten how to speak. He wanted the floor to open and swallow him up, anything to get away from the dozen pair of eyes staring at him.

"So let me get this straight, Aaron's pregnant?" Charity clarified asking Chas. "How far along then?"

"20 weeks." Jackson told her. "And it's a boy."

Zack was speechless. However Lisa was now on her feet and pulling both younger men into a teary eyed hug. "I'm happy for you, for you both." She smiled. "And so is Zack, aren't you?"

Zack seemed dazed for moment, obviously still taking it all in. "W-what? Yeah, yeah. . . Just unusual that is."

"We know Zack. Trust me. We're still trying to get our heads round it." Jackson laughed uneasily.

"Let me put the kettle on and we can talk about the little baby." Lisa announced, making her way into the small kitchen.

Jackson looked at Aaron. "If it's alright Lisa, we need to be going. Mum's cooking us all dinner tonight, including you Chas." Jackson called over to her, knowing that Aaron didn't want to be here any longer than need be, feeling the same as well.

"Oh, is she?" Chas beamed.

"Oh, well you'll both have to come over for your tea someday." Lisa told them, before they left.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mum we're back." Jackson called out as they all filed in through the front door and went into the kitchen. They were all hit with a delicious smell of home cooking that was wafting from the many plates of steaming food laid out on the kitchen table. Rhona and Paddy were already seated, having just put James down for his evening nap. Jackson, Aaron and Chas took their seats as Hazel poured them all a glass of wine.

"Mum, Aaron can't drink." Jackson told her, noticing the glass of red wine in front of Aaron.

"One glass won't hurt." Hazel shrugged taking her seat. "Bet you're dying for a drink, Aaron."

Aaron nodded, he was already reaching forward for the glass just as Jackson slapped his hand away.

"No." Jackson said annoyed. "You could harm the baby."

"Yeah but your mum said-." Aaron started protesting his innocence.

"No Aaron." Jackson said. "We're not taking any risks."

"Fine." Aaron grumbled going into a sulk.

"He's right Aaron, better be safe then sorry." Chas said agreeing with Jackson as they all began to tuck in to their meals.

"Has the baby kicked any more?" Rhona chirped from beside Paddy.

"No." Aaron mumbled. It hadn't kicked since the Garage incident which was disappointing.

"Don't worry, he/she will start kicking soon enough and won't stop." Rhona smiled.

"Oh! I forgot to mention a lot earlier Jackson and Aaron. You can have the spare bedroom for the littlen's nursery." Paddy told them, mentioning the room which was often used as storage space.

"But Paddy. . ." Jackson began.

"I won't take no for an answer. It's wasted that room is." Paddy said, leaving it at that.

Hazel, Chas and Paddy cleared away the dishes and washed up while Rhona checked on James. Upstairs Jackson lounged on their bed waiting for Aaron to finish having a shower. He could hear the water stop running and few minutes later Aaron returned with a towel round his waist and a t-shirt on. Since finding out that Aaron was pregnant Jackson hadn't seen Aaron without a t-shirt on, covering his stomach. It was as if he was ashamed. Sometimes Jackson would wonder if having the baby was the right thing to do. Aaron had never put into words that he didn't want the baby but he never seemed that excited about it like he was. They'd not discussed names or thought about buying anything yet. Aaron just didn't speak about if he could, he hid the fact he was starting to have a bump and seemed more closed off then ever.

"You alright?" Jackson asked as Aaron pulled a pair of clean boxers from a draw.

"Yeah." Aaron answered straight away.

"Sure?" Jackson pressed; they needed to talk about it properly.

"Yeah, why? Have I done something?" Aaron asked starting to worry. He began to wrack his brains of the past few days he couldn't think of anything.

"No. . . Well yeah. Aaron we need to talk." Jackson told him crossing the room and snaking his arms round Aaron's waist as he stood in just his boxers and t-shirt.

"You're not leaving me are you?" Aaron spat, fear evident in his eyes.

"No! No, no. Never, I promise." Jackson assured him. "It's just . . . Do you want this baby? You never talk about it, unless I bring it up or somebody else does. You're even hiding under clothes now." Jackson pulled the material of Aaron's blue t-shirt on emphasis. "I just want to know if what we're doing is what you want to do, that you don't feel pressured into do anything."

Aaron nodded and stared down to the blue carpet of the bedroom. "I'm sorry if I'm not bouncing off the walls about it all. But . . ."

"But what?" Jackson repeated tilting Aaron's head up so he could see his eyes.

"I'm still trying to get my head round it. It's strange you know." Aaron explained.

"Yeah I get that, but why are you hiding it? Even round me." Again Jackson tugged on Aaron's t-shirt.

Aaron just shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know why himself. He just didn't want to parade around with a swollen stomach.

Jackson didn't say anymore as they both climbed into bed. It was Aaron who broke the silence first, as he laid with his head on Jackson's chest.

"Have you thought of any names?" He asked mumbling into Jackson's bare chest.

"Yeah. Now I know we're having a boy, it's easier." Jackson told him. "Have you?"

"I can't think of any. I've tried." Aaron admitted, he hadn't thought about it much. But the very few times he had, he couldn't think of any names.

"Connor?" Jackson suggested. Aaron shook his head. "Jake?" Again, Aaron shook his head. "Well what then?"

For a moment Aaron thought about it, really thought about it, before answering him. "Freddie?"

"Freddie." Jackson repeated, running the name through his head. "Yeah. Freddie Livesy-Walsh."

"Freddie Jackson Paddy Livesy-Walsh." Aaron whispered, pink tinting his cheeks.

Jackson kissed Aaron on the top of his head. He liked that name. He was touched by Aaron's gesture of having his name their baby's name.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a Sunday morning so they both laid in bed throughout the morning, in no rush to get up. Aaron's radio played quietly in the background as Aaron fitted himself nicely along Jackson's back with one arm curled around his waist pulling him closer. Jackson could feel Aaron's even breath on the back of his neck and smiled. He loved lying in bed with Aaron, not feeling the need to talk or to kiss, just lay next to each other content in one and other's company.

"Aaron?" Jackson asked curiously, he wasn't sure if Aaron was awake or not. Rolling onto his back, he could see he was awake. "Was that the baby?"

"Yeah." Aaron smiled rolling onto his back also. He took Jackson's hand and placed it on the side of his swollen stomach were he could feel the baby kick.

"It's kicking!" Jackson whispered amazed. A huge grin slowly appeared on his face. "He's gonna be a little footballer."

"I hope not." Aaron joked, trying to cover up the twinge of pain each kick left.

"What's the matter?" Jackson asked seeing Aaron flinch for a split second.

"Nothing." Aaron answered quickly. ". . . Just hurts a bit, that's all."

"Should I call a doctor?" Jackson fussed already pulling back the covers to hop out of bed.

"No. Its fine, everything's okay." Aaron assured him, pulling Jackson back towards him. "Just that one time."

"Promise me, if it get's worse, tell me?" Jackson ordered him, raising an eyebrow to emphasis his seriousness. "I'm not taking any chances with you, or the baby."

"You're an old woman!" Aaron teased, before wincing again as the baby kicked harder this time.

"Aaron. . . " Jackson began.

"Jackson I'm okay."

They didn't stay in bed long after that. The baby stopped kicking after a few minutes and they both began to wonder what to do for the rest of the day. Jackson suggested that they go shopping for much needed things for the baby that would soon be on the way in six months. Even though their mothers had brought no end of things between them, they hadn't managed to buy everything yet. Fortunately for Jackson and Aaron they would have a chance to buy a few things for their child.

After looking round shops after shops after more shops, Aaron and Jackson had brought most of the things they needed. Aaron managed to get out of unloading the back of the van and was sat in the lounge as Paddy and Jackson took trip after trip upstairs. They put all the shopping in their bedroom for now, as the spare room had yet to be cleared. Jackson had planned to take action the next day. He was used to clearing out junk from houses. They couldn't keep all the things they had brought today in their room for long, they could barely move around.

Just as Aaron was drifting off to sleep, Jackson's phone began to buzz loudly on one of the bedside tables, waking him instantly.

"Turn that bloody thing off!" Aaron moaned as Jackson answered it. He hadn't been getting much sleep lately and Jackson's ringtone wasn't helping.

"Hello?" Jackson said ignoring Aaron sighing in annoyance. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear. . . If there's anything- . . . Yeah sure. Whenever really. . .Now? Yeah." Jackson talked down the phone. "Okay. Bye."

"Who was that?" Aaron asked once Jackson ended the call.

"A mate, Calvin actually. He wants us to look after his daughter for a bit." Jackson explained to him. Aaron's eyes widen. "Jenny, his wife's just been rushed to hospital. She collapsed at work and he needs someone to watch her."

"Can't he take her with him to the hospital?" Aaron said, trying to get out of it.

"No. A hospital is no place for a child Aaron. He's tried everyone else." Jackson told him, as he climbed out of bed. "His parent's are visiting his sister in London and her family live in America."

"Where you going?" Jackson was now stumbling round the room in the dark, dodging packages lying on the floor as he looked for clothes.

"I'm going to go pick her up." Jackson said as he pulled on his jeans and buttoned up his shirt all at the same time. "Are you coming?"

"Do I have to?" Aaron asked.

"No."

"Then I won't," Aaron laughed as he snuggled up in bed. Jackson sighed before he left the room. "See you in a bit then,"

"Wake me when you get back in, I won't be happy." Aaron warned him.

"Love you too." Jackson laughed.

Aaron woke up the next not because of Jackson crawling back into bed, but to the sound of his alarm clock screeching on Jackson's side of the bed. They had both decided to put the alarm clock on Jackson's side because at least then Jackson would turn it off but Jackson wasn't in bed to do so. Grudgingly Aaron rolled over to Jackson's side and flung out his arm to hit the snooze button. He was tired. The prospect of going to work this morning wasn't a good one. He knew he'd be in trouble with Cain if he was late, it had never before deterred him so it didn't today. Instead of getting up and grabbing himself a shower, Aaron stayed on Jackson's side, breathing in Jackson's aftershave and shower gel, closing his eyes and falling asleep again.

Jackson knew Aaron should be awake and out the door for work right now. He was running late. Lily-Grace, Calvin and Jenny's little daughter, sat at the kitchen table munching on chocolate cereal, Aaron's chocolate cereal.

"I'm just gonna go wake Lazy bones. You okay?" Jackson asked Lily-Grace as he headed for the stairs.

Lily-Grace just nodded at him over the top of her cereal, munching on a big mouthful of chocolate milk and cereal.

"Aaron. Get up." Jackson said, as he entered the room standing in the doorway.

"In a minute." Aaron mumbled.

"No now. Lily-Grace is downstairs, come say Hi." Jackson told him now ripping back the covers.

"Hate you." Aaron mumbled under his breath as he pulled on a pair of track suit bottoms before heading into the bathroom.

"It's just the hormones talking!" Jackson called after him.

A quick shower later and Aaron was downstairs grabbing toast from Jackson's plate as he made to rush out the door. "Hey!" Jackson scolded.

"I'm hungry." Aaron justified with a mouthful of toast.

"And make your own!" Jackson pouted.

"I would but I'm late." Aaron swallowed and stuck his tongue out at Jackson.

"You're not even going to say Hi to Lily-Grace." Jackson also said, nodding his head towards the lounge. While Aaron was in the shower, Lily-grace had finished her breakfast and Jackson had put one of her DVDs on in the lounge to amuse her for a while.

"Later." Aaron said before disappearing out the door.

Yeah later, Jackson thought. He'd go for a walk with Lily-Grace later on and pop into see Aaron. He had thought about clearing out the spare bedroom so they could start making it look more like nursery in time. But due to last nights change of events he had to change his plans, Calvin said he would call later on during the day when he had gotten hold of his parents in London. So for now Jackson began to plan a day that would entertain a three year old.


	8. Chapter 8

When all the Disney DVDs had been watched and Lily-Grace started to run around the house, getting in the way of Rhona and waking Freddie up, Jackson thought it was best they both went for a walk.

"When's you're lunch?" Jackson asked Aaron who he found underneath a car bonnet.

"Now if ya want?" Aaron asked noticing the three year old attached to Jackson.

"Fancy a trip to the park? She's beginning to run riot." Jackson admitted.

Aaron let Cain know he was taking his lunch now and headed over to the village park with Jackson and Lily-Grace. She was a cute little girl who clung to Jackson's leg. She shied away from Aaron , but every so often she curiously peered round Jackson's leg as they walked to the park.

"SWINGS." She cried out as she began to launch her little legs towards the green swing set.

Jackson looked over to Aaron, hoping he would go over with her and push her as he had spent the whole morning with her, but Aaron was taking a seat on the rotting bench. "Your turn." Jackson said plonking himself down next to Aaron and pushing him to stand up.

"What? No." Aaron grumbled crossing his arms.

"Er Yeah." Jackson continued, pushing Aaron up until he stood.

With a sigh, Aaron walked over to the Swings where Lily-Grace was already sitting attentively on them. Push me!" She screamed, forgetting about being shy.

The scene before Jackson was hopefully a scene of their future. It was times like these that Jackson had no doubt Aaron would be able to cope with fatherhood. He would be a great dad. So far Aaron had handled everything so well, he'd made Jackson proud. Lily-Grace was giggling as she soared higher and higher into the air. When the swing stopped, Aaron took hold of the chains and began wiggling them from side to side, so the seat jerked one way and back the other making the three year old giggle and squeal.

A few days later and Aaron booked time off work to help Jackson out with the nursery. They had yet to clear out the spare bedroom, it was a job neither of them was looking forward to but it had to be done. All the junk and useless crap Paddy had accumulated over the past twenty years was stored up inside the room. Clyde's old bed and dog collar were found on top of an old folding picnic table. Aaron had instantly grabbed them and took them to their bedroom, shoving them under their bed. He still didn't want to get rid of any trace of Clyde. He loved that dog and still felt guilty for his death.

"Why the hell has Paddy kept half of this stuff?" Jackson commented as he pulled out a box of books from under the window sill.

"Who knows." Aaron shrugged as he picked up the folding picnic table.

"You're not taking that downstairs." Jackson told him firmly.

"Why not? It's no use up here?" Aaron said ignorantly, continuing to head on to the landing.

"It's too heavy. You shouldn't be carrying stuff like that and if you fall. . ." Jackson left the sentence unfinished hoping Aaron would sensible enough to do as advised.

"I'm not gonna carry it downstairs." Aaron told him from outside the room, before Jackson herd an almighty crash. He soon jumped to his feet and ran out the room, hoping to not find Aaron at the bottom of the stairs.

The picnic table was at the bottom of the stairs.

Jackson raised an eyebrow at Aaron in disbelief. Paddy would go mad if he saw Aaron throwing things down his stairs and wrecking his beige wallpaper.

"What?" Aaron laughed.

"Unbelievable." Jackson said sarcastically before returning to the spare bedroom.

By mid afternoon the spare bedroom had been cleared and both young men were sitting under the windowsill drinking tea and deciding what colour to paint each wall. Jackson had purchased a lighter shade of blue the other day unbeknown to Aaron, hoping that they could use the lighter shade for three of the walls and the shade Aaron had picked for the main wall.

"What do you think?" Jackson asked Aaron as he lifted the lids off of the paint he had brought.

"Very nice, we picked it out the other day." Aaron sighed at Jackson's enthusiasm. He hadn't noticed the change in tone.

Jackson laughed. "We didn't. I picked this one out. You picked the other one." He showed Aaron the other tin of paint he'd chosen. "Thought we could use this as the main wall."

"Sure, whatever." Aaron said. He wasn't bothered. Blue was blue to him.

"Woah hold back on the excitement!" Jackson mocked widening his eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just tired." Aaron told him drinking the last of his tea.

"We have done a lot today, maybe we should leave the painting till another day." Jackson said getting to his feet about to place the lids back on the tins. He was used to hard builder labour.

"No, no. We need to finish this today. I'll just go lie down for a bit, if that's okay?" Aaron asked, struggling to get to his feet. The baby bump was getting bigger now, making Aaron's back ache and making it harder for him to stand up from sitting.

Jackson gave Aaron a hand, a huge grin on his face. He found it hilarious when Aaron got stuck. But sometimes Aaron didn't, it frustrated him.

"Thanks." Aaron muttered taking Jackson's hand as he pulled himself up. He went next door into the bedroom and laid down on the bed, almost instantly falling asleep. The pregnancy was starting to take a toll on him. Not only was he tired but bruises now mottled his skin that stretched over the bump because of the painful kicks he received from their little baby boy. Still Aaron wouldn't undress in front of Jackson so he still had yet to spot the distorted colouring across Aaron's skin.

It was near dinner time by the time Jackson finished painting the nursery in all the shades of blue they had brought. Still on a motivated mood he decided to assemble some of the flat pack furniture they had brought in the middle of the room, while he waited for the paint to dry. Quietly he crept into their bedroom in case Aaron was still asleep and looked for something easy to begin with.

Just as he was walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him, he noticed Aaron's stomach. He was lying on top of the covers and his t-shirt had hitched up slightly, revealing blue and yellow swirls. He propped the flat pack cot against the hallway wall and walked back over to Aaron cautiously. Carefully he hitched Aaron's t-shirt up a little more and studied the bruising.

"Jackson!" He jumped at his name, cried out by his mother after a small crash was herd outside the door. "Jackson! Could you not leave things were I can trip over them." Hazel called through, waking Aaron up.

"Yes mum!" Jackson shouted back at her, going back over to the door and opening it.

Hazel was stood outside holding her foot with a look of pain strained on her face. She'd obviously kicked her foot into the box which contained the Cot. Aaron was getting up behind him and when turned he noticed Aaron had pulled his t-shirt down.

"Well are you gonna move this before Paddy breaks his neck?" Hazel commented averting Jackson's attention to her again.

"Yeah, sure." Jackson muttered taking the cot into the nursery. He was annoyed that his mother had made an appearance at that moment.

"Good boy." Hazel praised him before turning to Aaron. "Alright Aaron? Having a little lie down?"

"Just getting up, actually." Aaron yawned about to push himself off of the bed.

"Good, tea's all dished up downstairs I came to let you boys know." Hazel told them both as Jackson reappeared.

Jackson squeezed passed Hazel who stood in the doorway of their room and went inside. "Thanks mum, we'll be down in a minute."

"If that isn't a hint, I don't know what is." Hazel laughed to herself as she retreated downstairs just as Aaron near enough jumped from the bed saying "I'm starving, come on."

Jackson caught Aaron's arm with his hand and tugged him closer to him. "Aaron, I thought we agreed if the kicking was gonna get any worse you'd tell me."

"We did." Aaron agreed a little unaware where Jackson was taking this conversation.

Jackson stared into Aaron's eyes, hoping he would catch on. Tell him, himself. "You're stomach. It's bruised."

"And . . ." Aaron snapped, unconsciously tugging the material of his t-shirt down.

"And . . . you never told me. You promised if it got worse you'd tell me." Jackson's eyes widened. "I wanna be apart of this Aaron, you, me and the baby."

"And you are!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Not when you're hiding things."

"I'm not hiding things." Aaron snapped before he shrugged Jackson's grip off his arm and stormed downstairs.

He didn't want to draw any unneeded attention to the bump, the pregnancy. Secretly he was counting down the days till he wouldn't be the freak show. In his head, as long as he had the ugly pregnancy bump he would be a freak show to the world. However every day that passed he began to panic, could he look after the baby? Would he be a good dad? How would other people react when they told everyone that he had carried their child? The whole village didn't know about Aaron and he had no intention of them finding out either. He and Jackson had bypassed the whole conversation about that topic, unsure of what cover up they would use. Even though Aaron was showing rather a little now, even underneath all the layers of clothing he wore, he barely ventured out Smithy Cottage because of it. He would wake up, Jackson would drop him off at work, he'd stroll home for lunch then return to work and then spend the evening at home with Jackson. Paddy had often herd people in the pub questioning why Aaron wasn't around as much anymore, he just merely fibbed to them, saying Aaron was in town with mates or Jackson. Occasionally, Adam would pop over and keep Aaron Company when he wasn't working up at Butlers Farm. They all dreaded the months when Aaron would be on maternity leave which was only a couple of weeks away. The all wondered how he would cope.

But Christmas was just around the corner and Jackson and his mum planned to make it special. They always made sure Christmases were ones to remember in their household and this year was no different. It would be the first festive season the two young men had shared together and Jackson promised it would be amazing. But he couldn't wait for next years!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you for ALL the reviews and story Alerts! I get all excited when I notice somebody has appreciated my writing, I love to know what you all think. Truth be told, I do find the whole Male pregnancy thing weird, but I loved gimmexsomexjacksonxwalsh take on it and I wondered if I could give it shot. So I did. I really hope this story is more about the emotional side of things then anything else. I have basic knowledge of pregnancy as I've never had kids, so it's kinda guess work and make up. Stay tuned for more I have zillion other story idea's buzzing around in my head, so it's all about keeping focus at the moment! :P As you can tell I am majorly dizty so there's often silly mistakes in my work (I don't tend to check my writing :S ) But I think I have corrected most of them so far!

Christmas day was nothing they would forget in a rush. Hazel and Jackson had made sure it would be special. A huge tree had taken up a large space in the lounge for the festive season, adorned with tinsel and baubles while many presents lay underneath the tree waiting to be unwrapped (majority of them labeled too little James). Hazel and Marlon had cooked the Christmas feast together in Smithy Cottage kitchen, providing entertainment with their constant squabbling on cooking skills. Chas had also been invited over for Christmas and had arrived that morning, not wanting to miss a thing. She really was trying to be in Aaron's life for good now. He hoped so. He'd brought her an expensive gift. Her face had lit up and she was tearing when she un-wrapped the delicate silver locket that was hung on a thin matching chain. Jackson was nearly as bad after Aaron had given him his gift. It was only a leather band with "A&J" engraved in the tiniest lettering on the very edge to him, but Jackson thought it was the world.

After lunch, it was when things began to get interesting. Chas and Hazel had begun to drink steadily and were both drunk by dinner time, attempting to sing Christmas songs. They gave up after awhile when they had resorted to making up lyrics for the ones they couldn't remember. Rhona and Marlon were bantering over the presents they had brought James. Marlon had brought him a toy kitchen set, which was much too old for him but one he could play with when older, and Rhona had brought a bunch of stuffed animals. They argued that the other was pushing their career onto the child. Paddy had broken it up and they had all been roped into playing typical Christmas games, the only sounds herd from outside was the roaring of laughter. Jackson and Aaron were the first to retreat to their bed where they snuggled up and savored the day.

The days after had seemed to speed up before their eyes. They didn't know where the time had gone. It was only a few weeks before Aaron's due date and he was growing more panicked and worried which was noticeable to everyone he came into contact with. He snapped at Paddy and Jackson multiple times of day and both older men had shrugged it off as nothing. If he had thought pregnancy was bad when he had morning sickness or when the baby kicked he was wrong, it seemed the later days where worse. It was harder to sleep, he could never get comfortable and his stomach hurt like hell, not to mention his back.

"You've been in a right mood for ages now." Jackson mumbled from behind into the crook of Aaron's neck as he sat on the sofa.

"Haven't." Aaron snapped, proving Jackson's point.

"What's up?" Jackson asked as he swung himself over the back of the sofa to sit next to the younger man. Aaron hissed as the effect of Jackson's new position jostled him and created pain.

"My back, it's killing me! I just want this bloody thing out of me." Aaron said exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"Back ache comes with pregnancy I think you'll find. It will be worth it." Jackson laughed.

"Not like this. I feel like my hips are gonna snap, my stomach kills. . ." Aaron began to whine.

Jackson just rolled his eyes. "How about I make you a nice cup of tea?"

"Whatever." Aaron sighed. He knew Jackson wouldn't understand and he knew he was beginning to whine. But it did hurt. He couldn't remember Rhona complaining so much. Maybe that was why women gave birth and not men.

Jackson leant against the kitchen countertop as he waited for the kettle to boil. He was deep in thought. He'd acted to Aaron as though it was nothing. But he was worried about Aaron and hit symptoms. They'd spoken to the doctor throughout the pregnancy over the past few months, discussing certain things and what to expect. Aaron had never really paid attention but Jackson had and maybe now it was paying off.

The clicking of the kettle brought Jackson back to earth. He poured them each a cup of tea and brought them through to the living room.

"I'm just gonna pop into the surgery. Have a quick word with Paddy, won't be a sec." Jackson told Aaron as he handed him his and wondered straight through to the vet surgery.

It was Pearl's day off so he didn't need to worry about bumping into her in the reception area. He strolled into Paddy's room as the door was open and no clients where inside.

"Could I have a word?" Jackson asked making Paddy jump. He'd been searching in one of the medical cupboards with his back to the door.

"S-s-sure." Paddy stuttered smiling.

"It's Aaron-."

"Oh god, I can tell this isn't good news." Paddy chirped, his smile slipping. He could tell by Jackson's tone of voice something bad had happened.

"I think he might be going into labor." Jackson voiced.

"Labor? Baby's not due yet." Paddy said before cottoning on. ". . .Oh, premature? We should get him to hospital then."

"I don't think he knows and I don't want to panic him. What If I'm wrong? It will just scare him." Jackson said.

"Better safe then sorry, for both of them." Paddy told Jackson, already taking his green veterinary jacket off.

"Don't say anything yet. I'll go upstairs and sort a bag out." Jackson said calmly although deep down, he was bursting with worry.

Jackson didn't tell Aaron what he and Paddy had discussed as he flew past him and ran upstairs. He pulled his own suitcase from underneath their bed and began to fill it full of anything and everything he thought they may need before taking the steps two at a time as he raced downstairs. He found Paddy in the kitchen on the phone to either Hazel or Chas, he couldn't tell, as he was using a hushed tone so Aaron couldn't hear.

"Aaron we're taking you to hospital." Jackson told Aaron. There was no point fussing around now.

"What? Why?" Aaron's eyes widened.

"We think you might be in a labor and the only way we'll be able to know is if the doctor will run a few tests." Jackson explained the huge suitcase in one hand as he reached out his other to help Aaron up.

Paddy had called Hazel and she'd told him she'd meet them at the hospital with Chas once she'd gotten hold of her at the factory. Aaron looked scared as he stared out of the car window on the way to the hospital. He still wasn't prepared for what was ahead. He'd tried to block that part out of hi mind for as long as he could, but now it was impossible to do. He had to face it head on. Jackson placed a reassuring hand on Aaron's, as he sat with him in the back of the car, shooting worried looks at him as well. Why hadn't he noticed earlier? Looking at Aaron now, really looking at him, you could tell something wasn't right. He looked in pain, his face was drawn and he looked noticeably tired, exhausted. Plus, Aaron wasn't usually one to complain about being in pain. He usually gritted his teeth and dealt with it.

At the hospital there was a multitude of tests that Aaron had to go through before they finally told him, that yes he was in labor. At 32 weeks the baby was premature.

"We've booked you in for a c-section at three." The doctor informed him. "The nurse will arrive and get you prepared before hand."

"Thank you." Jackson said for Aaron as the doctor left.

"Hey, I'm here for you. It's gonna be okay." Jackson said to the mechanic as soon as he noticed how faraway Aaron looked in the hospital bed. Aaron just gazed at Jackson as he perched on the edge and began to trace patterns along his bare arm. "I promise, you, me and lil' Freddie."

At 32 weeks, a month premature, everyone was worrying for the baby's safety. Would he be a little fighter like his dad and pull through, or would he leave them all in turmoil.


	10. Chapter 10

He couldn't feel anything below his chest. It was quite frightening at first. Doctors and Nurses in surgical gowns gathered around him and disappeared behind the surgical green screen that had been assembled at his chest so he couldn't see what was happening. Jackson sat by his head, dressed like the doctors and held his hand tightly. He kept trying to catch Aaron's gaze and keep it. But Aaron was too preoccupied with his surroundings.

It was a sensation Aaron never wanted to experience again. It was like somebody was washing up inside his stomach and it made his skin crawl. The feeling was soon forgotten as he caught sight of the baby- _their_ baby. It was strange to think he'd actually been carrying that baby inside of him, all those months. It wasn't crying? _Why wasn't he crying?_ Panic began to rise in Aaron, didn't babies usually cry at first, that's what he remembered from the TV soaps his step mum had forced him to watch during dinner when he lived with his dad. He turned to Jackson to see him looking just as concerned.

"Jackson. . ." Aaron began panic visible in his voice.

Jackson changed his expression as soon as he heard Aaron. "I'm sure everything's okay." Jackson hoped. "He's okay right?" Jackson asked the doctor.

"We're doing all we can." The doctor simply said, not telling much. "There are a few complications, so I'll have to ask you to leave."

"Don't. . ." Aaron pleaded as Jackson was guided out. The panic was turning into fear. What complications?

"I'll just be outside." Jackson promised, leaving Aaron his smile.

He was met by Chas, Hazel and Paddy in the corridor who near enough pounced on him for information.

"How are they?" Chas demanded. "It's bad isn't it?"

Jackson took a deep breath. "They're doing everything they can. There are complications."

"That's to be expected with this kind of pregnancy." Hazel tried assure only firing more questions and thoughts.

"Oh god. He'll pull through right? Both of them?" Chas rambled on, as Paddy slipped an arm around her.

Jackson just shrugged his shoulders and slumped down on to one of the hard plastic chairs in the hospital. His mouth felt dry and a horrible knot was tight in his stomach as he contemplated the worst scenario. They had to pull through. Aaron looked okay when he left him on the operating table. Not great, but okay. He looked even more exhausted and pitiful if that were possible. But he couldn't get the picture of Freddie out of his head. He looked almost lifeless and so small.

An hour later Aaron was out of surgery and in recovery, while baby Freddie had been taken to intensive care, Jackson stayed with Aaron till he woke. Even though he so desperately wanted to meet their little boy, he couldn't leave Aaron without knowing he was okay. The doctor had explained to them that they had to perform a emergency surgery on him and because the pelvis usually expands more while a woman is pregnant, Aaron's hadn't, and instead it had been fractured due to the intense pressure of being with child. They were going to get Aaron on his feet as soon as possible and home if they could. Jackson knew Aaron wouldn't be happy if he had to stay in hospital for a long period of time and was relieved when the doctor told them a pelvis fracture was quite simple to fix for someone of his age, he would send Aaron home on crutches but because of the operation he had been put through they wanted to keep him in for observation for a few days.

Jackson sat by Aaron's bedside opposite Chas who had insisted on sitting with him, she also wanted to be there when he woke. Chas was perched on the edge of her seat as she nervously bit her finger nails and watched Aaron sleep. Paddy and Hazel were upstairs on the intensive care unit for babies incase there was anymore news on baby Freddie. They were yet to be allowed to see him.

"Hey." Jackson said as Aaron began to wake.

He looked around the room searching for where Jackson's voice had appeared from. "Alright." Aaron croaked. He began to pull himself further up the bed into a more comfortable position but hissed when he tugged on his stitches.

"Easy." Chas said softly a worried expression evident on her face as she placed a slim hand on his arm. "How're you feeling?"

"Tired." Aaron answered, no longer trying to sit up. He looked around the room to see if he could find Freddie in a hospital cot somewhere. Where was he?

"He's in intensive care." Jackson told him as if he read his mind. "He's doing okay at the moment, so don't worry."

Relief flooded through him. He'd thought Freddie had died.

"We can't seem him yet though. Paddy and Hazel are up there now, waiting outside." Jackson continued. "Because he's premature they've got him on a ventilator to help him breathe."

"He's going to be okay, right?" Aaron asked, hoping Jackson would say yes.

He nodded his head. "He will be." He wished.

Jackson had jumped at the chance that night when they were told they were now allowed to see their son. Aaron, however, hadn't.

"I'm tired. I'll go see him tomorrow." Aaron told him. He did look exhausted the past eight months had taken it out of him.

"Okay. I'll take a picture on my phone and show you when I come back." Jackson promised before he left for intensive care.

Freddie looked tiny. He was inside a small plastic hospital cot, hooked up to all sorts of wires and tubes to help him breathe. But he was theirs, all theirs and that was all that mattered. Hazel and Chas had come with him while Paddy kept Aaron company, not that he would be much company to him asleep. Jackson took a tentative step closer to the cot and carefully pushed his hand through the hole at the side, so he could touch Freddie. Ever so gently he lightly rubbed his index finger on the palm of Freddie's tiny hand.

"Hello little guy." Jackson whispered softly. "I'm you're dad."

Chas and Hazel had been watching him interact with the baby quietly as they stood beside him, itching to have their turn.

"And I'm your Nanny Hazel." Hazel chirped no longer able to keep quite.

"_And_ I'm your Nana Chas." Chas told Freddie peering over to him.

"Downstairs your other daddy is sleeping, but he can't wait to see you." Jackson said to Freddie, still rubbing his palm lightly. "Smile. . ." He told his son as he pulled out his phone to take a picture.


	11. Chapter 11

"You missed out last night." Jackson said to Aaron. "Freddie is so cute. Just wish you'd seen him with me."

"I said I was tired." Aaron snapped, protesting why he hadn't seen his newborn son.

"Okay, I know. I was only saying. Here's a picture of him." Jackson took his phone from his jacket pocket and showed Aaron his phone wallpaper.

Aaron didn't seem overly interested, not like Jackson had thought he would react. He wasn't known for being enthusiastic about most things, but his own son you would have thought he'd shown some excitement. "Yeah, cute." Aaron agreed tiredly.

"Wanna go see him later?" Jackson asked, shrugging his concerns.

"Yeah, sure." Aaron mumbled, knowing he couldn't use the tired card again.

For a while they sat in silence, Jackson trying to ignore the questioning feeling that was rising up inside of him. Why wasn't Aaron that interested in their newborn? He was over the moon with excitement and nerves when he visited him last night. He couldn't stop talking about him to everyone who he came in contact with, "Freddie this. . . Freddie that." Aaron however felt a sickening knot in his stomach whenever he thought of Freddie. It was as if he was scared of him. He felt so stupid to be scared of baby, but he was. It was the only way he could describe how he felt about him. He wrestled against the feeling with feelings he should be feeling, feelings Jackson was bursting with, happiness, excitement, joy. . . Why didn't he feel like that?

Later that day, Aaron sat on the edge of the hospital bed pulling one of his hooded sweatshirts over his head. He was glad Jackson had packed him loads of his clothes before they left, he couldn't bare to think about being stuck in one of the undignified hospital gowns. Jackson looped an arm around his waist as he stood up carefully from the bed, lowering himself into the wheelchair as soon as he could reach it. They were going up to the NICU to see Freddie. Aaron tried to seem enthusiastic about seeing him, just like Jackson was, but he feared of becoming across false.

"It might seem a bit scary at first, with all the tubes and wires attached to him. But it's helping him to fight." Jackson explained to him as he pushed up the corridor. "The doctors said that he can come home in a few days, if he continues getting better at the rate he is."

"Yeah." Aaron breathed, trying to seem interested. He rested an elbow on the arms of the wheelchair and placed his head in his hand, shrinking away.

"Ready?" Jackson jolted as they stopped outside the unit. He didn't wait for answer, he backed through the doors and pulled Aaron after him, twirling him around and pushed him towards the incubator that held their son.

Jackson was right. It was scary. Freddie laid so still in the incubator, wires attached to him to monitor his vitals and a feeding tube fed through his nose. He looked so small. Aaron couldn't help but stare at his little chest, watching it rise and fall with each false breath the ventilator supplied their little boy with.

"You can touch him if you want." A nurse said to him, making him jump.

"W-what? – No you're alright." Aaron mumbled. He couldn't touch him, he'd break him. He was so small, lying there fighting for his life. He'd not even lived and he was struggling to have the chance of doing so. It wasn't right.

"Go on." Jackson insisted pushing Aaron's arm. "He wants his daddy to say hi. He won't bite."

Aaron reached forward and placed a hand carefully through one of the incubator holes. He hesitated at first before he slowly rubbed a thumb along Freddie's thin little forearm.

"Say something to him then." Jackson laughed.

"Hi Freddie." Aaron said to their newborn awkwardly. He was stuck with what to say now that Jackson stood over him and a nurse hovered nearby. Throughout the pregnancy, once he'd gotten used to the idea he couldn't help but not think about what he would say to him. How it would be like to hold him for the first time. Now he was stuck with what to say and he couldn't hold him.

"He's doing great." The nurse said to them as Aaron continued to stroke his thumb along Freddie's arm. "You'll be allowed to hold him soon."

"I hope so, I can't wait." Jackson said to her. "We've just got to buy some premature baby clothes now. Our mums brought no end of clothes for him but he won't be able to fit into any of them just yet."

"He'll be spoilt rotten then?" The nurse laughed.

"You bet." Jackson agreed. "Only son and grandson, there's no way he won't be."

Jackson had to return Aaron back to his hospital bed before the Doctor came to his room, during his daily rounds. He waited outside as the doctor assessed him again, running all sorts of routine tests and checking his surgery wound. He was glad to be told that Aaron could go home that week on Wednesday, just three more days in hospital. But he couldn't return to work for at least a month, not that neither of them had planned that he would return so soon. They both hoped to spend as much time at home with the baby first, not wanting to miss a minute of his life.

Paddy arrived at the hospital that afternoon with Hazel after Jackson had to return to work. He'd been sent with loads of messages from the Dingle clan, Adam and other people who wished them all the luck with their new baby. Aaron's secret pregnancy had gotten out to the village and word had spread like wildfire. Many people had accepted it and thought nothing of it. Pearl had been one of them who had thought it was magnificent news. She'd baked Aaron's favourite cake and sent it with Paddy.

"How did she find out?" Aaron spat, furious that now everyone knew. He'd kept a secret for so long and just like his last secret it had gotten out to everyone.

"I don't know Aaron." Paddy answered him, unfazed by Aaron's now angry mood. "It must have been the excitement of yesterday that caused somebody to tell. But it's alright. Everybody's really happy it. They're excited for you."

"I don't care. I didn't want them to know!" Aaron snapped.

"Well there's no going back now. You'll just have to accept that everyone knows." Hazel chirped. "Beside's what cover story were you going to come up with when you brought Freddie home. Found him on your doorstep?"

"I would have thought of something." Aaron growled.

"Mm, so you say." Hazel said skeptically. "Anyway, Adam might come tomorrow to see you and your mum and Cain are coming later on today, held up at work."

"Whatever." Aaron mumbled. He didn't want everyone turning up and fussing around him and talking about Freddie. He just wanted to be left alone. Between the constant flow of visitors and doctor's daily rounds he didn't have much time on his own.

"At least seem a bit happier when they arrive. You're not much company like this." Paddy told Aaron, hoping the young mechanic would head his advice.

Aaron just glared at him.

"Right well, if you're going to be this moody I'm going to go see my little grandson." Hazel announced taking to her feet. "Lets just hope he's inherited Jackson's sense of humor."

"Yeah." Aaron mumbled. He hoped that Freddie was just like Jackson. He didn't think anybody would cope with another one of him walking around. He caused enough trouble himself, besides the world deserved more Jacksons around.


	12. Chapter 12

Wednesday couldn't have come any quicker for Aaron, thankfully. He couldn't wait to get out of the hospital, rid himself of the sterile smell and eerie surroundings. He wanted to go home and sleep in their bed. Jackson was unable to get out of work that day, as much as he had tried. But there was a deadline on the job he was currently working on in Robblesfield and he was already struggling to meet it, he couldn't afford any more time off.

Instead, Paddy and Chas arrived at the hospital to take him home. While Paddy helped Aaron get himself sorted and ready to leave, Chas had disappeared up to NICU to visit her little grandson.

"Now, are you sure you've got everything?" Paddy asked Aaron, zipping up his suitcase after having gone through all its already packed contents incase anything had been forgotten.

"Yes!" Aaron stressed as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Jackson packed it all last night."

"If you're sure, I just don't want you getting home and realizing you've left something." Paddy fussed placing the suitcase on the floor and pulling out its extended handle.

"Well I'll blame Jackson for that." Aaron joked. "Can we go yet?"

"In a minute, do you want to see Freddie before we leave?" Paddy asked him.

"Nah, I'll see him tonight when Jackson comes." Aaron said with no intention to do so.

"Sure? You're mum's up there now." Paddy pressed.

"Like I said 'tonight.'" Aaron gritted, trying not to snap at the older man.

"Alright, if you say so." Paddy said. "Ready to leave?"

Aaron wasted no time grabbing a shower when he got home. Relieved to finally rid himself of the sterile smell that lingered on his clothes and skin. Turning the shower off he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist, careful not to aggravate the stitches.

"Aaron!" Paddy called up the stairs, as soon as he herd the bathroom door open.

"What?" Aaron shouted back.

"You've got visitors." Paddy called back, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm busy!" Aaron lied. Truthfully all he intended to do was get dressed and sleep as he waited for Jackson to finish work.

"Well tough, Zack and Lisa have come over to see how you are. Don't be rude!" Paddy huffed before he left Aaron to do the right thing.

Paddy had made them all a cup of tea as they sat round the kitchen table. Lisa and Zach chatting away nicely to Paddy as Aaron only listened in, making no effort to involve himself.

"Have you got a picture of him?" Lisa asked Aaron.

"No." Aaron answered.

"He does." Paddy said, shooting Aaron a warning look to at least be polite. "Wait a sec and I'll go fetch it."

Paddy disappeared upstairs for a while before returning with picture frame. "Had to look for a bit, it's a mess up in their room." Paddy handed Lisa the photo frame which held a picture of Baby Freddie. Aaron hadn't noticed it upstairs. Then again he hadn't really been looking for it.

Jackson had wasted no time in printing the picture of Freddie he'd taken of him on the first time he'd seen him. He'd used a photo frame he'd seen in the box of unwanted belongings they'd cleared out of the new nursery.

"He's gorgeous." Lisa cooed. "Definitely looks a lot like you." She said to Aaron.

"No he doesn't." Aaron snapped. "He looks like a baby."

"They all do at first. But he's got you're looks." Zach insisted.

"Unlucky for him!" Paddy teased, cracking a smile.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna go lie down for a bit." Aaron excused himself.

"Sure. Go get your rest. You'll need it when you bring Freddie home." Lisa said as Aaron left the kitchen. "I remember when I had our Belle. . ."

Aaron was upstairs asleep when Jackson came home from work. Quietly, Jackson crept into the bedroom and carefully laid his body against the back of Aaron's sleeping forming. He slipped a hand round his waist and pressed a kisses along his neck until he woke.

"When did you get home?" Aaron asked sleepily.

"Not long ago." Jackson said in between kisses. "I'm happy you're home. Bed seemed empty without you."

"Glad to be home, hated it in there." Aaron said rolling onto his back carefully.

"I'm sure you did. But our Freddie's still in there." Jackson sighed, pushing himself up from the bed. "I'll just go grab a shower and have dinner, then we can go seem him."

"Yeah." Aaron mumbled. He still didn't feel over excited about seeing Freddie. Something was wrong. He knew something was wrong, no new parent felt how he felt about their newborn. He'd seen them on TV cooing over their bundle of joy all smiles. Rhona had taken to motherhood well, her and James were irrespirable now. How come he wasn't like that? He wasn't supposed to have kids.

That night, they were able to hold Freddie. He was strong enough to not be on the ventilator anymore. The nurse's had dressed him in a little cream colored baby grow and a white hat to keep his little head warm. When the nurse's had picked him up and were about to hand him over to Jackson, Jackson insisted that Aaron had the first hold, digital camera ready in hand.

"Don't worry, he may be small but you won't hurt him." The nurse said assuring Aaron as she noticed his obvious nerves. Aaron was sitting in a padded vinyl hospital chair as the nurse carefully placed Freddie in his waiting arms.

Jackson took a picture of Aaron looking down at the baby in his arms, his face not showing just the top of his head. Otherwise he would have seen the look of pure panic and fright in Aaron's face.

"Do you want to hold him?" Aaron asked Jackson, quickly.

"I'm alright, you have a few minutes with him." Jackson said. He didn't want to snatch Freddie away. Aaron needed time to bond with him.

"No, Jackson. Hold him. Please." Aaron pleaded, tears forming behind his eyes.

That was when Jackson noticed something was wrong. The pleading in Aaron's voice and the panic evident clear in his eyes made questions form in Jackson's head.

"Okay, okay." Jackson said softly, placing the camera on the side and taking Freddie from Aaron.

Aaron stood up as soon as his arms were freed.

"What's wrong Aaron?" Jackson asked him quietly.

"Nothing." Aaron shrugged off, rubbing his hands over his head. "I need a cigarette."

"Thought you'd quit." Jackson told him. He had, he'd stopped smoking for eight months. Those eight months Freddie had been inside of him he'd managed to fight against any need for a nicotine fix. But now he _needed_ one.

"I had." Aaron said before leaving the NICU.

Aaron brought his first packet of cigarettes in over eight months from the gift store in the hospital, before finding a secluded spot outside on the hospital car park. He took a long drag from the lit cigarette and waited for the nicotine to take affect. He'd become too overwhelmed when he'd been sitting upstairs holding his son. It had gotten too much and he needed to get out of there. He was scared he was going to hurt him, even when the nurse told him he wouldn't. Aaron couldn't bare the thought of hurting there son, he was too small and precious. He'd hurt him already. He couldn't carry him for nine months because he was too weak, he'd made him enter the world a month premature and fighting for his life.

With each drag it didn't make a difference. He still had a knot in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought of Freddie. He couldn't do this . . . looking after a baby he couldn't even hold. He couldn't even look his own son in the eye because he was scared. _You're pathetic, _Aaron thought, _You were right, you can't be dad._


	13. Chapter 13

A few days' later Jackson and Aaron were allowed to take Freddie home. The doctors were pleased with the progress he had made and were happy to allow him to go home. Paddy had been more than happy to offer them using his car to pick Freddie up and Jackson had been grateful, strapping Freddie's car seat into the back that morning. He'd been a little worried before about using his work van, it wasn't really child friendly.

"Excited? You're gonna meet all of your family when we get home." Jackson said softly to Baby Freddie as he strapped into his car seat. Aaron sat in the front of the car, tapping his hands on the window sill impatiently.

"Have you strapped him in yet?" Aaron barked, turning round in his seat.

"Nearly, hang on." Jackson snapped at him. He was growing rather annoyed at Aaron's latest mood swings. "We want him safe don't we?"

"Just hurry up." Aaron answered, turning the key in the ignition to push Jackson along.

They arrived back to Smithy Cottage to a house full. No longer had they pulled up in the drive had the Stable door flung open and out poured the majority of the Dingle clan. Aaron dragged himself out of the car and walked over to the house, forgetting about Freddie in the back. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Jackson who took mental note of it and to confront him about it later.

"Welcome home, littlen." Jackson whispered to Freddie with a welcoming smile as he took him out of the car.

"Where's my little grandson!" Hazel cried out as she rushed over to the car to greet both her son and grandson.

"Mum, do you want to hold him for a bit?" Jackson asked Hazel, already handing Freddie over to her.

"Of course!" Hazel answered taking Freddie before she was surrounded by most of the female Dingles.

Jackson followed Aaron inside and into the kitchen. He had his back to him as clattered clean mugs onto the counter top and flicked the kettle on, completely ignorant to Jackson's presence.

"Aaron. . ." Jackson started making Aaron jump.

"What?" Aaron asked, turning round and resting the small of his back against the edge of the countertop.

"You alright? . . . With everything?" Jackson asked cautiously.

"Yeah, course." Aaron answered almost immediately plastering a false smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"It's just you don't seem that interested in Freddie. You just came straight inside and left him to me." Jackson voiced his concerns. "And-."

"I thought you had it covered." Aaron snapped.

"Aaron, it's not _just_ that." Jackson continued. "You never seem bothered . . ."

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm not constantly running on about him _all the time _like you are, boring every one to death." Aaron spat, his fight or flight instinct kicking in already.

"Don't do this." Jackson sighed.

"Do what?"

"This! It's Freddie's first day home and you're kicking off on one already." Jackson warned, keeping his voice low so it wouldn't be herd in the next room.

"Can't do nothing right can I?" Aaron shouted, doing the exact opposite to Jackson. "Maybe I should just leave you to it. Go back in their and play happy families!"

"Aaron. . ." Jackson started, reaching out to place a hand on his boyfriends arm. Instead Aaron shot him a seething glare before he stormed out of the house.

"What was that all about?" Paddy asked Jackson as he stood in the doorway that connected the lounge and kitchen.

"I honestly don't know." Jackson answered before heading into the lounge to join the welcome home party.

Aaron returned without anybody noticing he had. He'd spent the majority of the afternoon sitting down at the cricket pavilion. His and Jackson's row whizzing through his head. Why did he have to mess that up as well? He'd also spent a lot of time thinking about Freddie, he couldn't not. He promised himself and Freddie that he would try. He would try to over come whatever was standing in the way of him accepting his son. If he didn't, he couldn't bare to think. It was already putting him and Jackson's relationship in jeopardy and he didn't want to mess that up. Besides he should _want_ to accept his son. Why couldn't he?

He slowly edged himself in the lounge, watching Jackson interact with Freddie. Everybody had gone home and Rhona and Paddy had taken James over to Marlon's, so it was just the three of them in the house now.

"Jackson. . .Can I?" Aaron asked awkwardly, facing his demons head on as he held out his arms to hold Freddie.

"Y-yeah, sure." Jackson would have jumped up from the sofa, if he hadn't of been holding the newborn. He carefully placed Freddie in his boyfriend's arms and stood back. "Want a drink?" He asked.

Aaron nodded, not taking his eyes off of Freddie as he perched himself on the edge of one of the sofas.

"I'm so sorry." Aaron whispered ever so quietly to Freddie, unaware that Jackson was listening from the doorway. "I'm trying, I really am."

He found himself nearly in tears again, as Jackson entered the room with two steaming mugs of tea. "Here we are." Jackson smiled, placing Aaron's tea on the coffee table.

Aaron quickly wiped away the stray tears that were creeping down his face with the sleeve of his top before Jackson noticed and plastered on the false smile again. "Thanks." He mumbled.

"Here, why don't I put Freddie down?" Jackson said, already taking Freddie from Aaron. "Then we can have a quiet evening, after what's gone on today."

"Yeah." Aaron agreed.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Ah! Thank you for all the lovely reviews so far! I love to read them and know what you all think. I do feel as though I'm dragging this story out a bit now :/ I have suffered from sever writers block, I just hope it doesn't show in this chapter. I have been trying my damn hardest to get at least two chapters out today, as a few people have requested just that. I love to read other people's fanfic on the famous Aarson, so get writing people! I can't wait to read more stories I've been continuously refreshing the page incase a sneaky update or new story has appeared without me noticing, it's been a slow day today. *sighs* Anyway, enjoy!

Monday morning Aaron woke up to find himself alone in the house, alone with Freddie. Paddy and Rhona were on call out at a dairy farm down the road, Hazel was at work in the café and Jackson was no where to be seen. But Freddie was crying in the next room, screeching his lungs out. As soon as he found his phone in the pocket of his discarded jeans on the floor he dialed Jackson's number.

"Jackson where are you?" Aaron demanded panic rising in his voice.

"I'm just down the road at Home Farm. Declan might have some more jobs for me." Jackson explained to him.

"When you coming back?" Aaron asked rubbing his free hand over his head.

"A while as yet. why? - Is that Freddie I can hear?"

"Yeah, I don't kno-." Aaron began.

"-Just give him his bottle, he might just want a cuddle. I gotta go now, bye." Jackson said before hanging up rather abruptly.

"Jackson . . .!" Aaron cried out as he herd the dial tone click in.

_Great_, Aaron thought sarcastically. He really would have to face his demons head on.

Freddie was in fact screaming his lungs out in the nursery. Tear's streaked down his red tinted face as he flung his balled fists and legs around.

"Hey. . . Shhh." Aaron soothed softly leaning into the cot to pick him up and hold him close to his chest.

As he waited for the bottle to heat up in the microwave, he rocked Freddie backwards and forwards hoping it would have some affect on the crying baby.

"Shhh. . .please." Aaron muttered to him, close to pleading. "Please. . . be quiet."

As soon as the bottle was heated he tried to feed Freddie, doing exactly what Jackson done. He'd only fed Freddie a couple of times and both times had been under careful watch of a nurse or Chas, now it was just him. He was scared that he would choke or he wasn't doing it right. Freddie refused the bottle and continued to wail.

After the seventh time that Freddie refused the bottle, Aaron slammed the bottle down on the countertop and rubbed his spare hand over his head again. He was growing frustrated and stressed. He couldn't stop Freddie from crying. Why did Jackson have to leave him alone? Pulling his phone out of his pocket he called the one person he knew who could help him.

"Mum, can you come over please? . . . Yeah. . . Thanks, bye." Aaron said down the phone before hanging up.

When Chas walked up the pathway to Smithy Cottage's front door, all she could hear was Freddie crying. She'd herd him on the phone and both her boys sounded distressed. When she entered the house Aaron was sat at the kitchen table head in one hand as he pushed the stroller with his other, trying to rock Freddie to sleep.

"Go upstairs and have a shower. I'll take care down here for a bit." Chas said, easing Aaron's grip from the stroller and guiding him towards the stairs.

Gratefully Aaron did as he was told and allowed Chas to do what mothers do, care for their children.

By the time he came downstairs again, fresh from the shower, Chas had fed Freddie and put him to sleep _and_ made time to make Aaron a bacon sandwich.

"Here you go love." Chas said pulling out a chair at the kitchen table. "I can stay until Jackson comes back if you want."

"Please. . ." Aaron said leaving the sentence unfinished.

"Sure." Chas assured him. "Anyway, tuck in and I'll make you a cuppa."

Jackson got back to Smithy Cottage just before lunch time, in a cheery mood having just booked himself half a year's worth of work. Chas cornered him in the kitchen before he even got the chance to say 'hello' to Aaron or Freddie.

"Jackson, could I have a quiet word?" Chas asked, giving him no option but to as she had him cornered in the kitchen.

"Yeah sure, what's it about?" Jackson asked all ears as he leant against the countertop.

"How's Aaron been with Freddie recently?" Chas asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Fine, why?" Jackson answered a bit bewildered.

"No, seriously. Honestly tell me how he's been." Chas pushed.

". . . He's not overly excited about him, but it's Aaron so . . ." Jackson said slowly, before it triggered.

"I think he might have the baby blues." Chas told him quietly so her son wouldn't hear in the next room. "He called me up today nearly in tears, I came over and he's at his wits end, pushing a screaming Freddie back and forth in his stroller."

Jackson seemed at loss for words. He's suspected as much, but to have the words confirmed by somebody else brought it home. "How are we. . .What do we do then?"

"Just . . . I don't know. Be there for him." Chas breathed. "Go through and see him. I'll bring us some tea through."

"Freddie?" Jackson asked, hesitating at the lounge door.

"Upstairs, asleep." Chas said, tapping the baby monitor on the kitchen countertop.

Jackson gave a simple nod before going into the lounge to see Aaron.

He was sprawled out on the sofa, staring at the TV. If he was actually watching the TV program was anyone's guess, but he continued to stare at it even when Jackson sat down next to him. It took Jackson putting an arm around his shoulders and resting his head on his arm to get his attention.

"Alright." Jackson greeted smiling at him.

"I guess mum told you what a failure I was." Aaron muttered.

"No one said you were a failure, you just needed a bit of help." Jackson corrected him. "Me and your mum have been talking and we think . . . we think you've got postnatal depression, Aaron."

"What?"

"Baby blues. Its okay, most people get it. It's just you're gonna need our support to help you get through it." Jackson assured him. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before, but I am now."

So he wasn't a failure? He wasn't the world's worst dad. There was a reason to why he had been feeling like he had. And Jackson wasn't angry with him, annoyed that he found it hard to welcome Freddie.

"I don't wanna feel like this . . . not anymore." Aaron admitted to Jackson, his eyes wide with fear no longer trying to cover up what he was feeling.

"And you don't have to." Jackson soothed, pulling Aaron into a fierce embrace. "We can get through this."


	15. Chapter 15 hidden scene!

A/N: For Poppy and many others like her, who wanted to see how Aaron got through the PND. I felt bad when I realised I had just merely skipped over that part. There maybe a few extra chapters!

"Could you hold him a sec?" Jackson asked, juggling Freddie in his arms as he tried to do a million things at once.

Aaron looked at Jackson pleadingly.

"Go on. I'll just be in the next room heating his milk up." Jackson assured him as he saw the fear shinning brightly in Aaron's eyes.

Aaron cleared his throat. "Okay." He held out his arms and took Freddie carefully, frightened he would break him. He hadn't picked him up since the morning he'd been left alone with him and it had been a few days since then. Chas often popped over, more frequently now just to check how he was doing and was often pulled into baby sitting when Jackson had to nip out for a bit and couldn't take Freddie with him.

"Told ya, I would only be a sec." Jackson said as he entered the room with a baby bottle full of milk and Moses blanket. "You're doing great, do you- do you want to?" He asked Aaron carefully, shaking the bottle.

"Nah, you're alright." Aaron mumbled, handing Freddie back to Jackson like he was on fire.

"Okay, maybe next time." Jackson smiled. He wasn't going to push Aaron. He knew fully well what happened if you pushed Aaron into doing something he didn't want to and he didn't what to risk it. He was happy for now, that Aaron was able to hold Freddie for a short while.

Aaron didn't leave the room as he sat next to him feeding Freddie. He patiently sat beside them, watching Freddie greedily take his milk. He surprised himself when he took a corner of the Moses blanket and wiped away the dribble of milk that was running down Freddie's chin.

Jackson tried to not make a big deal of it. He didn't want to embarrass Aaron, but he couldn't help the smile that crept on to his lips. There was hope, yet.

"Are you still okay with that Photographer my mum booked for this afternoon?" Jackson checked. He didn't want Aaron feeling uncomfortable. Hazel had booked a photographer a week ago, before they noticed that Aaron had the baby blues. She thought it would be nice if they had some professional pictures of Jackson and Aaron with Freddie. Jackson loved the idea, but he didn't want Aaron being put back a step. They'd forgotten about it until they had called last night, making sure things were all to plan.

"Yeah." Aaron nodded.

"Sure?" Jackson asked. "I don't want you feeling pressured."

"I don't." Aaron told him, flashing an assuring smile.

"Good." Jackson leant in and kissed Aaron on the lips lightly. "Go get changed then. I don't want you looking like a tramp in those pics!"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "I'm never gonna live that down."

"No, you're not." Jackson laughed as Aaron left to go upstairs.

The photographer arrived before Jackson even got the chance to go upstairs to change. He answered the door as soon as it knocked, with Freddie in one arm, and allowed Nicole, the photographer, inside.

"Come in, I'm Jackson." Jackson said. "Can I get you a tea or a coffee to drink while I quickly get changed?"

"Coffee would be lovely please." Nicole smiled, placing her camera on the table.

Aaron thundered down the stairs, changed into dark Jeans and a steal grey button shirt, just as Jackson was making the woman a coffee.

"Hi, you must be Aaron." Nicole said politely, holding out her hand. "I'm Nicole."

Aaron took her hand and shook it. "Hi."

"Aaron I know it's big of me to ask, but could you . . .?" Jackson asked quietly tilting his head towards Freddie. "It's just I need to get changed."

"Alright." Aaron breathed, taking Freddie. It wasn't like he was going down the village, he was only upstairs.

Jackson thanked Aaron as he placed a kiss on to his forehead and raced upstairs.

He was longer than they'd thought. Jackson was still upstairs getting changed ten minutes later and Nicole looked as though she was growing impatient. She'd already set up all her equipment in the lounge and some of it outside in the back garden.

"Should we make a start?" Nicole suggested after glancing at her watch.

"Er. . . Shouldn't we wait for Jackson?" Aaron stumbled looking towards the stairs.

"No it's okay. I can get pictures of you with Freddie while we wait." Nicole said picking up her camera from the table. "Job done then, come on."

Aaron followed Nicole into the lounge, still holding on to Freddie. Where was Jackson?

"Look, maybe I should go get him." Aaron said as the feeling of panic started to rise in him again.

"Like I said I can get a few shots of you two while we wait." Nicole smiled waiting for Aaron to sit in front of the camera.

Gingerly Aaron sat down on the sofa.

"Right. . . " Nicole began before Jackson burst into the room.

"Sorry! I couldn't find my shirt." Jackson apologised as he sat down next to Aaron. "It was in one of your drawers." Jackson said as he took Freddie. Aaron smiled. Jackson was wearing his favourite shirt, the red chequered shirt he'd been wearing the night he first met him. "Where were we?"

It seemed Aaron was doing better. Jackson stood back and watched whenever it was just Aaron and Freddie getting pictures together. For once the smile on Aaron's face was real and not a fake one he plastered on for show.

"Thank you." Jackson called out across the lawn, before Nicole drove away. "Well I think that went well." Jackson said as he closed the front door.

"Yeah." Aaron agreed.

"You never know we could make a model out of Freddie yet!" Jackson exclaimed as he sat down at the table with Aaron.

"No way are you putting him through that." Aaron huffed.

"Why not?" Jackson laughed. "In twenty years time he could be on the cover of vogue."

"Just promise me, that you never, _ever _will turn into a pushy parent." Aaron warned.

"Aw! There goes my Dreams of entering him in to Baby beauty world!" Jackson teased pulling a sad face.

"You're daft." Aaron stated as he stood up and went to go upstairs.

"But you love me!" Jackson called back to him, causing Aaron to roll his eyes as he climbed the stairs.


	16. Chapter 16 HIDDEN SCENE!

The photographs had been sent to them in the post and one of them hung proudly on their bedroom wall. It was a picture of all three of them that had been taken outside in the garden as they sat on a bench. It made each of them smile every time they woke up and noticed it. Both Jackson and Aaron had big smiles on their faces, the sun shone brightly lighting up the coloured picture and Freddie lay peacefully in Jackson's arm. Hazel had made sure there were enough pictures to send to family and friends, taking proud grandmother to a new extreme.

Jackson had been back at work a week now and he was getting up to get ready to leave. They'd gotten the arrangements all sorted a week before. Rhona or Hazel would either be at home with Aaron so they could help out in the mornings if he needed any and Chas called round in the afternoon to have her look in.

"Jackson, can you get Freddie in here please?" Aaron asked stretching out on to his back as Jackson buttoned up his shirt.

"Yeah sure." Jackson said a little surprised.

"Thanks." Aaron said.

Jackson gave Freddie to Aaron and stood back. "Alright?"

"Yeah." Aaron assured him. "Just thought it would be nice if he was in here with me."

A smile cracked onto Jackson's face. "I love you." He said quietly.

"Shut up." Aaron mumbled as he scooted down in the bed so Freddie was lying on his chest.

"Later." Jackson sighed as he left the room and went downstairs, bumping into Hazel on his way down.

"Just going up to feed Freddie." Hazel said, shaking a bottle in her hand to mix up the formula.

"Could you wait for a bit? . . . Aaron's got him." Jackson said to her. He didn't want his mum bursting upstairs and ruining the one time Aaron held Freddie on his choice.

Hazel raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Yes mum! He's in bed with him. I think Freddie can go a little while longer without his feed." Jackson warned her before leaving.

Hazel did as she was told and gave it another twenty minutes before she went upstairs to give Freddie his bottle. She knocked on Aaron's and Jackson's bedroom door, before entering. Aaron looked up as she did, his index finger pressed to his lips in indication to be quiet. Freddie was asleep on Aaron's bare chest lying on his front, rising and falling with every breath Aaron took.

"It's time for his feed." Hazel told him, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to?"

"Nah you're alright." Aaron said, carefully pushing himself up into a sitting position as he held Freddie to his chest.

"I can sit here while you do, if you want?" Hazel offered. She was determined that Aaron was going to be one feeding Freddie today.

Aaron thought about it for a second before nodding his head.

He took the bottle from Hazel and carefully guided it to Freddie's mouth, where he latched on and fed hungrily.

"Natural." Hazel commented as Aaron glanced up nervously, chewing on his lip.

They sat silence while Freddie fed, listening to the sounds he made and Aaron watched him in awe. Surprisingly to Aaron, Hazel didn't interfere at all as she perched on the edge of the bed.

"I think he's had enough." Aaron told Hazel, when Freddie refused to drink the last quarter of the bottle.

"That's okay." Hazel said, taking the bottle and handing him a tissue. "You might want to wipe his mouth, he's got milk everywhere."

"Okay." Aaron said gently padding the dribbles of milk that leaked from his baby's mouth. "Do you want to take him now?"

"Go on then, I'll get him changed into that t-shirt and stripy top combo that Peal got him and go show her." Hazel announced, taking Freddie. "No doubt she'll be pleased!"

Aaron smiled at Hazel and Freddie as she closed the door shut behind her and let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He'd done it! He'd actually spent half an hour alone with Freddie _and_ fed him. He'd been nervous the whole time he was with Freddie, scared he would mess up and do something to harm him. He was glad when Hazel hadn't said anything about him shaking while he gave Freddie his bottle.

Aaron couldn't find anymore courage to pick up and hold Freddie for the next couple of days. He would watch him and often talk to him occasionally but feeding Freddie and fighting against whatever struggle that was trying to prevent him from doing so that day he'd spent the morning in bed with him, was becoming harder to fight again. He couldn't find the strength to do anything like that again for a while. It was frustrating to find himself back several steps when he'd overcome so much a few days before. But he was determined it wasn't going to stand in his way again.

The three of them where in the lounge, Aaron playing on the Xbox while Jackson amused Freddie with some of the baby toys they'd found themselves surrounded in over the past several months. Jackson had laid out a blanket on the sofa by the window and laid Freddie on it on his back as he danced a jingling soft bug above him.

"Watch him for a bit. I need the loo." Jackson said no longer able to put off the trip upstairs to the bathroom.

"Yeah sure." Aaron mumbled pausing the Xbox game and shifting over to the other sofa on his knees.

Jackson quickly rushed up stairs leaving Aaron sitting on the floor by the sofa, awkwardly watching Freddie. For a while he just stared at him, frightened to hold him again. But he remembered he needed to over come that, if not for him for everyone. He didn't want Freddie growing up with just one parent like he had. Intent on bonding with his son, Aaron picked up the baby toy Jackson had been dangling above him and began to do exactly what he done.

"Hey." He laughed as Freddie reached up with his little hands to grab the toy. "Do you like that? –Shit."

Aaron's Xbox controller had fallen off the arm of the chair where he'd left it and managed to hit a button that switched the game from paused to playing. Gun shots and shouting blared out from the TV speakers, before he turned round to grab the controller and pause the game again.

Just as his back was turned for only a split second, Freddie had managed to roll and fall from height of the sofa to the carpeted floor and burst into high pitched squealing.

Aaron's heart stopped. At least he thought it did for a moment when he realised the thumping noise had been Freddie falling. Jackson was going to kill him! _Oh god!_ Aaron screamed in his head. Panic began to rise quickly through his veins and his stomach dropped. He didn't know what to do at first, should he pick him up and cradle him or leave him where he was in case he damaged him more.

"JACKSON!" Aaron shouted as loud as he could. "Jackson!"

"What, what is it?" Jackson panted as he rushed into the lounge drying his hands with a towel. How couldn't he have not herd him?

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Aaron began to plead, hands reaching up to his head and rubbing over his temples. ". . . I had my back turned for one second. _One second._"

"It's okay." Jackson said quietly as he strode over and scooped Freddie up, rocking him from side to side, soothing him. "He's okay."

"No he's not!" Aaron snapped. Panic and fear quickly turning to anger as he began to pace the floor, putting as much distance between Freddie and him.

"Aaron, he only fell a little height. He's just shocked. That's why he was crying." Jackson assured him, stepping closer with Freddie in his arms.

"Don't. " Aaron warned taking a step further back. "I'm a horrible dad! I hurt him."

"Aaron. . ." Jackson began, he wasn't going to let Aaron blame himself. He wasn't a horrible dad and he hadn't hurt him. Accidents happen.

"I said don't." Aaron roared, storming into the kitchen.

Jackson followed Aaron upstairs. He placed Freddie in his cot to sleep and be well out of the way of Aaron while he was in such a mood. He didn't fear that Aaron would harm Freddie or him. But they needed to talk without a baby in the room.

"Aaron. . ." Jackson started as he pushed open their bedroom door.

He was huddled on the floor, his back against the wall and his knees drawn up with his forearms folded and resting on them. Tears were falling down his face silently as he stared at the floor, he didn't look up as Jackson slid down the wall and sat beside him.

"Look at me." Jackson said quietly, placing a hand on Aaron's thigh. Slowly, he did look up at Jackson, his looked scared.

"I didn't mean to. I don't want to hurt him-." Aaron began mumble.

"Shh, I know. Accidents happen and he's okay, we just know now that he won't be a big fan of those plummeting rides at the theme park." Jackson laughed, trying to get a smile from Aaron. "Aaron, he's okay. Don't go beating yourself up about it." Jackson assured him seriously. "You're not a horrible dad either, he loves you so much."

"How can he, when I can't even hold him." Aaron mumbled, wiping the tears that had eased with his sleeve.

"He doesn't care about that. He just wants his dad." Jackson told him, squeezing his thigh. "Why don't you go hold him- I promise you won't hurt him before you say anything." Adding the last line when Aaron opened his mouth to tell him he would. "Go on."

Jackson followed Aaron into the nursery and had to push him towards the cot when he stood in the doorway nervously, shifting from one foot to the other. Hesitantly, Aaron reached down and picked Freddie up, his hands trembling as he did.

"Mum told me about the other day." Jackson said watching, on hand if Aaron found it all too much. "I'm really proud of you."

A shy smile tweaked at the corner of Aaron's mouth.

Jackson pulled Aaron towards him, careful not to squash the sleeping baby between them, he locked his arms around Aaron's back and pressed a kiss to his forehead as he stared down at Freddie.


	17. Chapter 17

It wasn't until Freddie was a couple of months old before Aaron finally over come postnatal Depression. He kicked himself mentally with guilt when he thought he'd wasted Freddie's first few precious moments not wanting to hold him, not wanting to have anything to do with him, resenting him. He couldn't understand why he had felt like that, the doctor had explained because he'd suffered from depression in the past he was at a higher risk of suffering from PND. Plus the birth and pregnancy had been stressful. He just wished things had been different. He'd wasted so much time and missed out on so many moments. He never let anyone get a look in with Freddie now if he could help it.

Jackson let out an exaggerated sigh and rolled his eyes as he made a move to fling back the covers.

"I can't be done with mornings." Jackson said as he pulled on pair of jeans.

"Quit moaning." Aaron yawned, rolling on to his front and hugging the pillow under his head.

"It's alright for you! You don't have to get up till you want to." Jackson huffed. He was partly right. Cain had given Aaron more time off so he could spend extra time with Freddie having herd how difficult it was for him at the beginning. So Aaron was in no rush to get up, which was if Freddie didn't start crying. He now had him wrapped round his little finger and Aaron loved it.

Once Jackson finished getting dressed he fetched Freddie from the nursery and laid him in bed next to Aaron carefully. He did that every morning. Seeing his two boys interact with each other made his heart swell. Aaron had come on leaps and bonds since they realized he had PND.

"Mornin'." Aaron said to Freddie, tickling his small delicate chest.

"Now, you boys behave while I'm at work." Jackson teased, kissing Freddie on the forehead lightly before turning to Aaron. He cupped Aaron's face in one hand and pressed a light kiss to his lips. "Or they'll be trouble." He winked.

"Whatever!" Aaron laughed, before averting all his attention back to his son.

THE END.

A/N; Sadly it is the end of an era :'/ I can carry on this story if you would like, but in a sequel, a few months or years later. So, get reviewing please and let me know what you want. Thank you!


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